


The Love of Dough

by armlessphelan



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Comedy, Complete, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Het, Romance, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-22
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armlessphelan/pseuds/armlessphelan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when an okonomiyaki chef and a schemer work together? What do they do when they get what they never thought they wanted?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Good Morning

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of an older story written without a beta.

She pulled her hair into a ponytail, cast a glance in a wok so clean she could literally see herself in it, and adjusted her outfit so that it hid all of her womanly features. It had become a ritual ever since Ranma and Genma had abandoned her and run off with her father's okonomiyaki cart. How long ago ten years seemed.

Konatsu had left, off gathering supplies for the restaurant. It was unknown just when he would be back. At least she wouldn't have to close down Ucchan's like she did when she operated the place on her own.

"I hope Ranma-honey likes this," she exclaimed cheerfully as she wrote another declaration of her love onto the Japanese pizza with a brush and sauce. She hadn't seen him since the ruined wedding. Nobody but the Tendo family had, since he'd been hiding out there until school resumed.

The warrior was a little ashamed of her behaviour at the event. Her exploding modern-yaki had actually done more harm than good, if the look on his said anything after he resumed consciousness. Or was it she? There was so much chaos, what with all of the other martial artists running around. Kuno was there, his twisted sister Kodachi, that wretch Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne… Anyone with any connection to Ranma or Akane had arrived. Even Gosunkuji showed up, but only after paying the 1000-yen that Nabiki, Akane's sister, was charging as admittance. Actually, it was Nabiki that had told her where Ranma was. After a payment of five thousand yen, of course Her plan was to wake him up with the smell of the delicious breakfast-yaki she had so lovingly prepared. When he came out to eat it: that was when she would make her move.

Since they were all but empty because of the early hour, she easily walked the streets to the Tendo Dojo instead of running along the fences like she and Ranma had done ten years prior when they were childhood friends.

"Oh, good morning, Ukyo!" Kasumi, the eldest Tendo daughter, said in greeting as the okonomiyaki chef made her way up the path to the front door. Kasumi was already out sweeping off the front porch. Ukyo smiled back and bowed as a sign of respect. Setting the broom down and picking up a watering can, Kasumi told the visitor that nobody else was up yet.

"That's okay, I can wait," Ukyo said with a wave as she headed around the back of the building. Kasumi merely beamed and returned the gesture.

Coiling her legs, Ukyo jumped up onto the tall cement wall and stared at the windows on the upper floor. A light came on in one and the spatula-wielding martial artist stood up. Soon enough, the window slid open and the Tendo daughter with the helmet haircut stuck her head out. "Hey," she called in a half whisper, "aren't you early?"

"Were you rather I was late?" the chef responded as she jumped into the window frame. Nabiki stepped back to allow Ukyo entry into her room. The younger of the two reached into her pocket and fished out 5000 yen. "Here you go, just as promised."

"Fine, you know the way."

Nabiki climbed back into bed. Ukyo adjusted the spatula on her back and tightened her grip on the handle of the okonomiyaki's delivery case. Slowly pushing the door open, she poked her head out to make sure there was no one walking around the halls. Of course, when she stuck her head out someone walked into it.

"Oof!"

"Sorry, Mr. Tendo," she chuckled nervously as she scratched the back of her head.

"Oh, good morning, Ukyo," the moustached father of Ranma's other fiancé said. "Are you here to see Ranma again?"

"Yes, sir," she bowed.

"Very well, then," he smiled. Then he immediately turned around and headed in the direction that Ukyo had intended to go. Moments later, a young man could be heard screaming.

Ranma came running through the hall in his black shorts and matching tank top. Several arrows followed him and a few sunk into the floor in front ok the chef. "I swear! I don't know what you're talking about!"

Shortly after that, Soun Tendo clanked through the same hallway with a bow in his hands and his trademark metal armour covering every inch of his body. "!"

The pig-tailed martial artist dove past Ukyo and into Nabiki's room as Soun tripped and crashed at Ukyo's feet, crushing the arrows that had landed there just seconds before. He ran to the window and attempted to open it, but found it locked. Ukyo scratched her head in confusion. Hadn't she just come through that very same window?

"Why won't you open?" Ranma screamed at the glass as he looked back to see Soun rising to his feet.

Sitting up in bed with a key in her hand, Nabiki gave an evil smirk. "Right here's the key to the window. I'll let you borrow it for a hundred yen."

"Can I pay you tomorrow?"

The middle Tendo daughter rolled her eyes and tossed him the key. Ranma quickly unlocked the window and jumped out of it just as a flurry of arrows hit right where he had been standing. A splashing sound soon reached them.

"Get back here!" the father of three of the four women living in the Tendo household shouted as he too jumped through the window.

A familiar female voice could be heard asking as to whether or not it was honourable for a martial artist to attack a helpless girl. Then many more voices joined in. Someone began shouting about a "pig-tailed girl" and Shampoo's broken Japanese soon came as well. With a shrug, Ukyo sat on Nabiki's bed and opened the box.

"I made it for Ran-Chan, but since he's busy…" she offered. Nabiki tore off a piece and took a bite.

"What's going on?"

Both women looked back to the doorway that the two men had come through just moments before. Dressed in a nightgown and with a very happy yet bruised black pig in her arms, Akane rubbed her eyes and yawned as though nothing unusual were happening.

"Ukyo brought over breakfast. Want some?" Nabiki offered around a mouthful of okonomiyaki.

Sighing, Akane sat on the bed and got herself a piece as well. "I take it you're the reason Daddy is trying to kill Ranma today?"

The chef just smiled and answered with a shrug. Unlike Shampoo and Kodachi, Ukyo didn't actually hate Akane. The tomboy was just another rival. They actually got along fairly well, and even had quite a bit in common. Unfortunately, one of their similarities involved the scheming mind of one certain panda and an engagement to Ranma.

Munching in silence, the three quickly finished off the food. Akane causally walked over to the window and peered out. Then she grabbed a lamp from Nabiki's nearby desk and threw it out the window. A woman could be heard yelling in pain seconds later.

"That's what you get for waking me up, Dummy!" she shouted. Then came catcalls concerning her figure and being macho. Akane turned back to her sister and her friend with an annoyed look. "Excuse me, I have to go deal with something."

She bolted out the door, and her bare feet could be heard on the stairs as she screamed all the way. The black pig bounded after her with every step.

"How can Mr. and Mrs. Saotome sleep through this?" Nabiki asked offhandedly. "Even Akane woke up, and that girl sleeps like the dead."

"Speaking of Akane…" Ukyo said as the pounding of a mallet could soon be heard outside, in addition to the cries of "Ranma!" "Pigtailed-girl!" and the ever-present "Aiya!"

"What?" Nabiki inquired curiously.

Ukyo closed the okonomiyaki box and set it on the floor and she shifted on Nabiki's bed and crossed her legs. "Is she still clueless about Ryoga being P-Chan?"

Nabiki nodded and started counting the bills that Ukyo had given her earlier. "Oh yeah. I figured it out ages ago, and at least once a week I get a few hundred yen out of the sap. I only do it when Kuno's gotten his share of pictures of Akane and Ranma, though."

"Ooh, you have pictures of Ranma-honey?" the chef gushed excitedly. "Can I have some?"

Seemingly out of nowhere, Nabiki held up a handful of pictures of Ranma in various states of dress and consciousness. "Two thousand yen for four, or nine thousand for twenty."

Ukyo reached in her pocket and handed over enough for four pictures. Nabiki added this to the money that she's gotten earlier and then stuffed it under her pillow. "So, what are you planning to do today?"

"Well…" Ukyo murmured thoughtfully. "Since we don't have school today, I was going to try to talk Ran-Chan into a date, but he seems to have plans already." As if to back her up, the level of screaming rose up a notch as a new male voice joined the fray. It seemed Ryoga had found some hot water along the way.

"Well, we could always get undressed."

"What?" Ukyo screamed in horror as she stared at Nabiki with wide eyes.

The older girl held up a finger, reached under her bed, and produced a little old man with a serious case of baldness. "I didn't say anything."

Her hands shaking with rage, Ukyo grabbed the spatula on her back and swung at Happosai, who went sailing out the window with a cry of "PLEASE?"

"You want to do something?" Ukyo asked Nabiki when she got her breathing under control.

"Like what?"

"Well, we could catch a movie or something, unless you just want to get something to eat," the warrior answered.

Nabiki rolled her eyes as a wicked, womanly laugh joined the noise outside. A few black rose petals blew in through the open window and settled onto the floor. She stood up and closed the window before giving an answer. "Hey, I have nothing better to do."

"It'll be my treat, of course."

"If you insist," Nabiki responded half-heartedly. They both knew that she wouldn't have shelled out a dime for anyone but herself.

"Stupid Akane. She didn't have to hit me, too," Ranma muttered as he crawled up the stone steps to the Tendo Dojo. The first thing he remembered was waking up to the giant, angry face of Mr. Tendo. Then came the attack, the escape into the yard, and then the usual chaos broke out.

He had fallen into the coy pond and turned into the girl that his mother used to know as Ranko. Shortly after that, Kuno arrived with a handful of roses. Then, one by one, Shampoo, Ryoga, Kodachi, and Akane showed up to either pummel him or try to date with him. Most of it was the former.

Ukyo and Nabiki passed him, deep in a conversation of just how good of an investment Ucchan's would be for the money-loving sister of his "first" fiancé. When she noticed him, which didn't happen until she was already standing on his head, Ukyo looked down with a smile.

"Good morning, Ranma-honey!"

"Morning…" he answered as best as he could, seeing as how his face was being pressed up against the wooden floor of the dojo.

When he thought about it later, Ranma would realize that he had seen Ukyo in the hallway and Nabiki's room. However, he would not be able to figure out why she hadn't chased him down like all of the others. Only Akane, Ryoga, Nabiki, and Ukyo herself would know what she had been doing while his suitors and Mr. Tendo beat him half to death again.

"What are you doing here, Ucchan?" he asked after jumping back onto his feet.

She smiled nervously and looked at Nabiki for help. None was offered. "Um, I brought you breakfast…"

Ranma shouted excitedly and jumped into the air. Ukyo was an excellent cook, with only Cologne as competition. Sure, his mother and Kasumi were good cooks in their own right, but neither of them was good enough to operate a business with food as the base.

"…but I already ate it with Nabiki and Akane."

He fell back to the ground and landed on his head. The chef apologized profusely, but he didn't seem to hear her. Horrible memories from the night before came rushing back. Akane had offered to help Kasumi and his mother with breakfast. No wonder Ryoga had seemed happier than usual while he drove his fist into Ranma's face. The man with the world's worst sense of direction also possessed the most screwed up sense of taste in Japan.

"Looks like you're going to just have to enjoy breakfast here," Nabiki laughed. "Of course, I could bring you something back, for the right price…"

"By the way, what's up with you two? Since when are you friends with us underclassmen, Nabiki?"

The schemer looked offended at the idea. "We're not friends, I'm just not dumb enough to stay here like you and Daddy. He may think that Akane can be cured. I, on the other hand, know better."

"We're going out. Do you want to come, Ran-Chan?" offered the cute fiancé.

"You're not going anywhere, Ranma!" Akane shouted as she smacked him in the back of the head with a mallet. "Kasumi, Mrs. Saotome, and I are working hard on breakfast. You'd better eat it, or else!"

"Why would I want to eat anything made by a macho chick like you?" he shouted back. "You are so uncute!"

"So what if I'm not cute?" Akane screamed as she began chasing Ranma around the dojo with a kendo sword that had mysteriously come out of nowhere.

Nabiki grabbed Ukyo's forearm and pulled her in the direction of the exit. "Quick, while she's distracted! If we don't hurry, we may have to eat it, too!"

"Bye, Ranma-honey!" Ukyo called as she was dragged outside.

"Ranma, get back here!" Akane cried as she continued to swing at him.


	2. Girl Talk

"Wasn't Ranma-honey so manly today?" Ukyo sighed happily. She knelt down and rested her head on a metal rim dreamily.

She and Nabiki had left the Tendo Dojo, gone straight to a nearby café where the chef paid for their breakfast, and ended up looking through the bargain bin of a nearby and fairly reputable music store.

Nabiki sorted through the one-hit wonders and has-beens with no luck of a great deal. "Don't you know that there's more to life than Ranma Saotome? Believe me, I live with him. He is far from a catch. Then again, it could be worse. You and Akane could have both gotten engaged to Kuno…"

Faster than an okonomiyaki being flipped, the capitalist found herself looking down the end of a rather large spatula. Ukyo growled and jabbed a little at Nabiki. "Do not speak ill of my Ran-Chan! You Tendo women are all the same. Trying to turn me against him so that you can have him all to yourself."

"Please," Nabiki rolled her eyes and put a finger on the edge of the weapon. Ukyo lowered it. "Don't compare me to that tomboy, or Kasumi. Unlike those two, I've learned that strength and kindness will never get you what you want. Not that I want Ranma. I'd rather go out with Ryoga. At least he buys me stuff to get in good with Akane. Ranma doesn't do anything unless I make him."

"Make him? What do you do to him?" Ukyo screeched, blissfully ignorant of the people staring at her. It was becoming far more obvious to the people of Nerima that they were slowly being taken over by ridiculously enthusiastic martial artists, but the chaos usually occurred outdoors, as opposed to a music store. "Tell me or die, you wretch!"

"Wretch? Are we living in the 1800's?" the girl answered. "Give me a little more credit. The only thing I want from Ranma is cash. Cold, hard, cash."

"Really?" Ukyo asked in confusion as she put away the spatula. It had never occurred to her that anyone could be as materialistic as Nabiki. The middle Tendo girl was the complete opposite of Konatsu. "You don't want Ranma?"

A small laugh escaped from Nabiki's lips. She picked up one CD, scrutinized it, and then swapped it for another. "I already told you how I feel about that idiot. The only thing men are good for is opening jars and paying for dinner. Half the time, they can't even do that right. Just look at the father figures I have. Mr. Saotome is a panda half the time, and he's always fighting with Ranma or scheming with my dad to get Akane and Ranma together. Don't even get me started on my own father. That's a bag of marbles that's been half empty for years."

"What's all of this about other men?" Ukyo asked as she resumed looking through the CDs as well. "I thought we were talking about Ranma."

A frustrated growl escaped from Nabiki as she threw the CD she was holding back into the bin with enough force to make five others crash onto the floor. "Why is it always Ranma with you?"

"Do you not like him?" Ukyo inquired through gritted teeth as her fingers itched in anticipation of the return of the spatula. "Do you have something against Ranma?"

Again, Nabiki groaned. "Why does everything have to revolve around Ranma? Can't we change the subject, or something? How's your restaurant going?"

Ukyo gave Nabiki another clueless look before answering. "It's fine. Konatsu is working for scratch, and that means that I'm not killing myself everyday. Why do you ask?"

The chef received one of those big-eyed 'you're such an idiot' looks from Nabiki. "Didn't I just say that we should change the subject?"

"From what?"

"I'll tell you for a hundred yen," Nabiki grinned. After Ukyo handed over the money, her conversation partner suddenly perked up. "We were talking about Ranma."

"Oh, right," remembered Ukyo in a silky voice as stars began to fill her eyes. "Ranma-honey."

Another self-serving smirk crossed Nabiki's lip. "So, just how much do you want Ranma?"

Ears perked up at this as Nabiki suddenly regained Ukyo's attention. The girl dressed like a boy pondered for several moments before asking just what was being plotted. When she was told, Ukyo jumped onto the offer.

"It's not going to be free, though."

"Whatever you want, I'll pay," Ukyo agreed thoughtlessly. It was almost Ranma-esque how quickly the decision was made, and with how little thought.

"Very well, then…"

"I'm home, Daddy!"

Everyone looked up from the table. The only ones now glowering were the three that had made the meal that they were eating. Akane was just ticked, grabbing the men one by one and forcing them to sit back down.

"Ah, Nabiki! Come, why don't you take my place at the table? I need to go sweep the dojo," Soun cried as he jumped up, only to have Akane grab him by the moustache and pull him back down.

"The dojo doesn't need swept," the tomboy hissed. Tears began pouring out of his eyes as he took his seat and looked at the charred mess. "I saw Kasumi do it right after we finished cooking, when Mrs. Saotome and I were setting the table."

Nabiki called out that she'd already eaten as she ran up the stairs with incredible speed. Then everyone heard her door slam, several locks click, and the hammering of nails into the wall, presumably putting some boards over her door.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Ranma muttered as he stared at his food.

"Shut up and eat!" Akane shouted as she picked up a piece of what had at one time been a carrot. She then lowered the chopsticks to P-Chan who happily ate the food, passed out for a few seconds, and woke up with an incredibly happy look on his face. "See, P-Chan likes it. It can't be that bad."

Happosai attempted to escape with one of his blasts, but Akane knocked it back at him with a tennis racket that she had gotten out of nowhere. He exploded and lay on the floor with his mouth wide open.

"My, the Master looks hungry," Soun said as he jumped up and scraped the food off his plate and into Happosai's mouth.

The mini-martial artist gagged, swallowed the food, and then grabbed his stomach. "Oh, Soun, you'll pay for this!" Another explosion occurred, and Happosai successfully escaped while Soun, almost as burnt as Akane's food, twitched on the floor.

"Would you like some more, Daddy?" Akane offered as she picked up the serving platter. "There's plenty."

"It really isn't that bad," Kasumi confirmed as she took another bite and fought the urge to spit it out. She swallowed it and managed to retain consciousness.

Soun waved his hands, suddenly pain-free at the thought of actually eating some of his youngest daughter's cooking. "No. No. I think I'll just go check on Nabiki. You never know what that girl's up to."

As if trying to take advantage of the attention being paid to the Tendo patriarch, Ranma jumped up and dove out the window. Akane quickly followed him, P-Chan on her heels.

"Ranma, you get back here!" she screamed, throwing various garden decorations at the pig-tailed boy. "You're going to eat this, even if I have to kill you first!"

"I should be so lucky," everyone heard him respond. After waiting a few seconds, the remaining diners dumped their food into the nearest hiding places. One houseplant wilted, but other than that, nobody would be suspicious as to what had happened to the meal.

Before Akane could return, her father ascended the stairs and knocked on Nabiki's door. "Daughter, are you well? I haven't seen you today."

He pressed his ear to the door and heard soft sobs. Stunned as to the revelation that his middle child could actually feel emotions, he quickly kicked in the door, ripping away about half of the wall with it.

"Daddy!" Nabiki cried through tears as she covered her face. "What are you doing? Don't let anybody see!"

"Are you okay?" he asked gently as he attempted to fix the doorway with no success. After giving up, he sat on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder. "What troubles you, my daughter?"

Nabiki turned away from him, sniffling as she hid her face in a pillow.

"Really, Nabiki, you'll feel better if you let it all out…"

"It's Ranma!" she screamed as she pulled her face away from the cushion. "Akane treats him so cruelly, and he… he…"

"What does he do?" Soun tried to hug his daughter, but she shook out of the embrace. "Nabiki?"

"I love him, Daddy! I know I said that before, when switched from Akane to me, but this time I really mean it! Akane doesn't deserve him. Why won't he marry me? All they ever do is insult each other."

Unsure of what to do, the father awkwardly patted the shoulder of the daughter. "There, there. I'll talk to Ranma and Akane about switching the engagement again."

"Really?" Nabiki asked with a small smile, tears still rimming her eyes.

"Really," Soun assured her with a much bigger smile.

With a trail of dust behind them, Nodoka and Genma Saotome appeared at Nabiki's door. "Is it true, old friend? Has the engagement switched again?"

"That it has, old friend," Soun laughed happily. He and Genma grabbed each other's hands and began dancing around in the rubble.

"My manly son, marrying this beautiful young woman…" Nodoka sighed happily, nuzzling her cloth-wrapped sword. "It makes a mother happy."

"Um…" Nabiki interrupted the celebrations as she wiped away the last of her tears. "Do you guys think I could have some alone time?"

They all nodded and disappeared, though shouts of joy could be heard from the garden. Nabiki reached under her pillow, pulled out an onion, and pitched it into her trashcan. Then she picked up the phone and dialled a number that she'd never dialled before.

"Hello, is this Ucchan's Okonomiyaki? It is? Good. Ukyo, I have great news…"


	3. My Fiance... Again?

It was tradition for Ranma and Akane to walk to school together. The girl would be walking on the sidewalk, and the boy would be traveling on top of anything but. Another tradition was for Akane to talk and Ranma to ignore her.

"Didn't you hear a word I said?" Akane screamed angrily as she kicked the fence. He lost his balance and fell, grabbing onto the metal railing before falling into the water below. Of course Akane would wait until they were on a bridge to get angry.

"I'm listening! I'm listening!" the pigtailed boy screamed as he struggle to get back up, lest he fall into the water and be overcome by womanhood.

Akane bit her lip and looked off into the distance, as though there were something she was trying to see. "Don't you think Daddy was acting weird today? He kept looking at you and grinning. More than usual, anyway."

"Better than what I got yesterday morning," Ranma commented as he conquered the metal mesh and perched on the fence. "Besides, who are you to talk about weird parents? My dad turns into a panda, and Mom is always carrying around that sword. At least your parents aren't trying to kill you."

"Even so…" Akane didn't say anything else about it as they watched their teacher, Hinako Ninomiya, chasing a mauve cat down the street. "Poor Shampoo. I almost feel sorry for her. Don't you, Ranma?"

When she got no answer, Akane looked around and saw her fiancé cowering behind a rose bush. "Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me."

"Ranma!" Akane shouted as she hit him in the head with her fist. "She didn't even come near you. Get up or we're going to be late. Who knows what that nutty principal of ours is up to this time."

"Hey, Nabiki, did you talk to your dad yet?" Ukyo asked when the other girl reached the schoolyard.

The Tendo daughter grabbed Ukyo and pulled her behind a tree. "You idiot! Don't talk to me unless it's necessary. If I feel you need to know something, then I'll tell you…"

"What'll you tell her?" Both girls' eye grew to the size of plates at the sound of a male voice.

"Nabiki, Ukyo, since when are you two friends?" Akane asked, following shortly behind Ranma. "What's going on?"

Ukyo began to panic, but Nabiki quickly took control of the situation. "Just give me the five hundred yen and we'll call it even, okay?"

As the chef reached into her pocket for the money, Ranma got a suspicious look on his face. "What's this all about? What are you two plotting?"

"Really, Ranma," Nabiki said with a feigned loss of dignity. "Do you really think you're the only one who needed a key to my window yesterday morning?"

"Huh?" Akane looked at the three with a raised eyebrow.

"So, you're the one that got me in trouble with Mr. Tendo?" Ranma was practically livid. "Why the heck would you…"

Nabiki laughed and stepped between the childhood friends with sharp eyes. "Did you forget that you owe me? A hundred yen. Ukyo was there. Should I have her remind you?"

Ranma turned his angry gaze from the woman dressed as a man to the woman too cheap to pay attention, unless the conversation involved a way for her to make money. "You're the reason I had to use it! I'm not paying you!"

There was a quick splash of water to his face. After wiping the water from his eyes, Ranma saw Nabiki holding an empty water pail. Then he looked down and saw his own breasts looking back up at him.

"Are you going to pay me now?" she asked with a lewd grin.

"Nabiki, stop torturing Ranma," Akane said with absolutely no gusto.

One sister looked at the other. "Why? This is fun. Now I know why you do it."

"I don't do anything that he doesn't deserve," Akane defended. "It's not my fault that he's stupid, perverted, reckless, destructive…"

Ranma put his hand over Akane's mouth, and she responded by kicking him face-first into a nearby tree.

"Forget it," Akane said as she walked away. "He's all yours."

"Just what I was hoping for," Nabiki muttered so lowly that only she could hear. Then she walked to the semi-conscious Ranma and knelt so that they could speak. "Are you going to give me my money now?"

He looked back into her eyes and crossed his arms over his ample bosom. "Do your worst."

Nabiki sighed heavily. "You've left me no choice. Oh Kuno! Guess who came to see you!"

With speed faster than humanly possible, Tatewaki Kuno was at Ranma's side. "Oh, Pigtailed Girl! Whatever has put you into such a state?"

Ranma looked at Nabiki with narrowed eyes as he punched the kendo master. It was fruitless, as Kuno came back like a magnet to a fridge. "I hate you."

"We need to see you."

Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki had just walked into the Tendo Dojo when Soun and Genma zoomed in front of them, dust trails lying unsettled in their wake. Both of the men had tears rolling down their faces.

"What did you do this time, Pop?" Ranma asked accusingly as he smacked his father upside the head with his schoolbag.

However, Genma seemed to be immune to the pain. Soun grabbed his daughters, one under each arm, and ran to the living room. Ranma was reluctantly drug along by his ponytail.

Seated at the big wooden table, one setting down the cups and saucers and the other pouring tea, Nodoka and Kasumi were both sporting rather bright and cheery smiles. "Hello, Ranma! Akane, Nabiki."

"Hello Mrs. Saotome. How are you today?" Akane asked as she bowed. It was after she had been released, of course.

"I am wonderful, Akane. It's a shame that you won't be my daughter, though," the woman said with a sympathetic pat on a cushion.

Akane sat beside Nodoka curiously. She just couldn't understand why Ranma's had just said what she did. "Mrs. Saotome? What do you mean? I thought you already thought of me as your daughter. I certainly think of you as my mother."

"You can have my dad if you want," Ranma interjected. "Nobody else wants him."

Genma smashed Ranma's face into the floor and sat on Nodoka's other side. "We brought you here for a very big reason…"

There was an explosion, and Genma was covered with soot. Happosai was sitting on his disciple's head and smoking his pipe. "Genma! Soun! You should know better than to discuss the future of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts without its founder."

"Very well. The reason we are here," the Tendo patriarch announced as he combed through his moustache with a finger. "The engagement between Ranma and Akane has been cancelled."

Ranma and Akane both voiced their outrage at the same time before catching one another's eye. Then they quietly sat down and glowered at one another.

"Good," Ranma declared after finding his voice. "I didn't want that dorky, macho chick anyway."

"I'm happy with it, too!" Akane shouted as she launched her teacup at Ranma's face. While her ex-fiancé howled at the boiling water being splashed on his face, the tomboy turned to her father. "Why did you and Mr. Saotome change your minds about the engagement, Daddy?"

"We didn't…" he said, trying to hold back a smile. "Ranma is still going to marry one of my daughters. Genma and I just decided that it wouldn't you."

"Ranma is now engaged to Nabiki!" Genma shouted into a microphone as he pointed at the middle Tendo daughter. Happosai threw confetti from his perch atop his student's head while Kasumi and Nodoka unfurled a manner bearing Ranma and Nabiki's names surrounded by cherubs and hearts.

"What?" Ranma uttered stupidly. "Couldn't I have Kasumi, instead?"

Soun slapped the pig-tailed boy on the back happily. "Come now, Son. Surely you love my daughter, the joy of my life, as much as she loves you!"

Again, Ranma was stupefied. He looked to Akane who was thinking the exact same thing: hadn't Nabiki already pulled this stunt?

"Daddy…" Akane started before interrupted.

"It's true!" Nabiki cried as she threw herself into Ranma's arms and planted her lips against his. "I do love you!"

"Ranma!" Akane shouted as she hit him in the head with a mallet. "With my own sister!"

Nabiki grinned at Akane evilly. "Now, now, Sis. You had your chance. He's mine now." Then she kissed Ranma again.

Akane threw a shoe at Ranma's head just as the doorbell rang. In order to excuse herself from the ensuing insanity, she stood and walked to the door to see who it was. She wasn't entirely surprised to see Ryoga standing there with an armful of gifts. "Hello, Ryoga! I haven't seen you in ages. Have you been off training again?"

"Yes, I have," he boasted with a laugh as he piled the assortment of things into Akane's arms. She groaned under the weight of it and sat them on a nearby table. When she looked back to the martial artists, he was nervously playing with his fingers while his cheeks turned a familiarly peculiar shade of red. "A-ka-kane w-would you g-go o…"

"I would love to go out with you, Ryoga!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Seconds later, Ranma, Soun, Nabiki, and everyone else had gathered to watch. Akane turned to her family and waved as she grabbed Ryoga's arm, the young man looking about ready to explode from sheer joy. "I'll be back!"

After the door closed behind her, Soun punched the wall as tears flowed down his face. "My daughters, they are truly happy. Oh, I'm such a lucky father!"

"If only I were," Genma muttered as punched Ranma for poking him in the side with an umbrella, which the teen soon broke over his dad's head.


	4. A Date with Destiny

The restaurant was dimly lit. a perfect atmosphere for lovers on a rendevous, or spurned suitors watching them. Ukyo watched from behind a plastic plant as Ranma and Nabiki enjoyed their "date."

Just a table away, coincidently or not, Ryoga and Akane were also dating. The love-struck boy was so nervously blissful, or perhaps blissfully nervous, that he couldn't speak. That was fine with the youngest Tendo daughter, since her attention was on her sister and ex-fiancé. It was all as Nabiki had planned.

"So, Ryoga, how have you been?" Akane asked disinterestedly as she sipped from her glass of water and watched Nabiki all but throw herself at the pigtailed boy. "I haven't seen you since the wedding. How's Akari?"

Unable to answer the question, he just twiddled his thumbs and laughed before running off in a screaming fit. Something to do with being unable to decide on which woman he really loved.

"Whatever."

She was used to the shy boy's outbursts. What she wasn't used to was the person to occupy his seat next.

"I see you've finally given up on Ran-chan." Ukyo twirled a spatula around in her hand. She was in her masculine outfit, so nobody thought a thing of them sitting together in such a romantic place. "You won't mind if I take him, then?"

"Go ahead," the tomboy snorted. "See if I care. He just dumped me for my sister the moment she kissed him. Who need the… DUMMY!"

With that, Akane picked up a basket of bread and launched it at Ranma who was trying to avoid Nabiki's obvious advances. He had just recovered from the blow when his face was smashed into his plate. Ukyo had jumped onto his head, the small spatula pointed at Nabiki's head.

"We never agreed on that! How dare you kiss my Ranma-honey? You shall pay, Tendo!"

Nabiki rolled her eyes before snapping her fingers in the okonomiyaki chef's face. "Good job. You've just cost us the plan."

"Plan?" Akane screeched as she stood by the table, a shish-ka-bob spear in her hand loaded down with shrimp. The other diners began looking at the quartet. "You two planned this? You stole Ranma from me? Why? I thought you were my sister."

There was no response from the girl with the helmet hair. After a few minutes, in which Akane's anger only grew, she spoke. "Well, I guess it's on to Plan B."

"Plan B?" Ukyo was confused. "I didn't know we had a plan B. What is it?"

"Just keep Akane busy. I'll meet up with you later."

Ukyo took that as a sign and attacked, swinging the small spatula at her romantic rival. It was the only weapon she had: the security guards at the door wouldn't let her through with her preferred large spatula.

There was a ringing sound as Akane countered with the shish-ka-bob. Shrimp flew in all directions as the two teenagers engaged in a furious battle of kicks, punches, and utensils used for food preparation.

"Saotome! How dare you besmirch the name of Akane Tendo! I will not allow it!"

Sticking to his self-proclaimed moniker of Blue Thunder, Tatewaki Kuno arrived in the restaurant and began whacking Ranma's body with the wooden Kendo sword he always carried.

"Kuno, he's already out. I think he was smothered by the mashed potatoes," Nabiki offered as she grabbed Ranma by the pigtail and lifted his head up. A face covered by varied appetizers showed her words to be true.

"Die, Tendo!" Ukyo screamed as she leapt over an old woman to bring down the spatula, which Akane blocked with a stale loaf of French bread.

"Akane Tendo!" Kuno cried as he moved to run in her direction. However, he was held in place by Nabiki's surprising strength. "Release me, woman!"

"Now, now, remember, Kuno. You still owe me."

When he denied being in her debt, the middle Tendo daughter launched into such an elaborate lie that the confused young man actually believed it. At her request, Kuno picked Ranma up, not at all gently, and ran out of the restaurant.

"Where are you taking him?" Akane shouted at her sister's back as she dodged a blow from Ukyo. Before she could do anything to retaliate, the chef jumped out a window and followed her co-conspirator.

Akane threw down her shish-ka-bob and prepared to give chase when a man in a waiter's uniform stopped her. "I'm sorry miss, but you cannot leave until you have paid your bill."

"What about her?" the girl said as she pointed out the window at her retreating sister who soon disappeared around a corner. "You let her leave."

The man nodded and gave Akane an unpleasant smile. "Yes, she told us that you would more than happy to pay her bill as well. That will be 30,000 yen, if you will."

"But I'm broke." Akane pulled out the pocket of her school uniform, having forgotten to change in her rush to get away from her house.

"Well, one of our dishwashers did call off tonight."

With a clenched fist, Akane followed him into the kitchen with promises of pain and revenge on her tongue. How was it that Nabiki never had to pay for anything?

Ranma screamed into duct tape as he awoke to find himself tied to a chair in the darkened dining room of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. After several failed attempts to free himself, he looked around to see Nabiki and Ukyo arguing behind the grill. Kuno stood guard with his sword at the ready. Why did he have to have such bad luck?

"You blew it, so the price went up. No more silent partnership. I want to be a majority partner," Nabiki hissed as she poked a finger into Ukyo's taped down chest. "Just be glad I'm not asking for the whole place."

"Nobody runs this place but me!" Ukyo cried vehemently. "I came to this town with nothing. You want to take my whole life away from me. He's here, so you're getting what we agreed on. Nothing more, nothing less. I know you Tendo women. Don't try to push your luck, Nabiki. Kuno won't protect you if you make me mad."

There was snort as Nabiki walked around the counter and to the door. "If you won't give me what I want, then I'll just have to consider my other options."

"Other options?"

A click rang through the room as the lock was undone. Nabiki opened the door and another woman walked into the room.

"Nihao!" greeted the Chinese Amazon warrior Shampoo as she walked into the restaurant.

Ranma's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, as did Ukyo's. The foreigner jumped onto Ranma's lap and gave him a big hug as she announced that he would be her husband that very night.

"Not if I have anything to say about it, my darling Ranma," a mysterious voiced laughed as a storm of black rose petals blew into the room. "You shall be mine."

"Ah, if it isn't my twisted sister." Kuno nodded at Kodachi. "You are here for this cur, I presume?"

Kodachi proceeded to whip her brother with a ribbon for insulting her love.

"Calm down morons. I've called you here to put one Ranma Saotome up for bid. Whoever gives me the most appealing offer gets him. Now give me stuff."

Ranma began to cry as Shampoo held him. Why did he have to have such bad luck?

"Shampoo give greedy Tendo girl Cat Café."

"All of it?" Nabiki asked.

"Yes. Shampoo take Ranma back to China and make husband. Live in village for rest life." The Chinese warrior pressed her bosom up against his face as he attempted to back away in horror.

"Get off my Ran-chan!" Ukyo screamed as she leapt at Shampoo with her large spatula back in her hands. The purple-haired woman leapt away and the spatula hit Ranma in the head. Unconcerned, the chef chased after the other woman, Shampoo sticking her tongue out as she dodged every swing.

Nabiki ignored the battle and turned to Kodachi, who had her brother whimpering in tears. "What do you propose?"

"For love, I will away all of my worldly possessions!" she declared dramatically, tears forming in the rims of her eyes. "Everything, the entire Kuno fortune, is at your disposal."

"What about your brother?" asked the capitalist as she looked down at the blubbering mess.

"He goes with it, of course," Kodachi answered matter-of-factly.

After weighing the pros and cons, the only con being Tatewaki Kuno, Nabiki looked back to Shampoo. "You're offering the whole café?"

"Yes. Whole Café. Shampoo even give Mousse as gift."

Again, Nabiki had to weigh her options. After several excruciating minutes in which the three warrior women began pummelling each other, with Ranma getting three of every four blow somehow, a decision was reached.

"Fine. Ukyo, he's yours if we're equal partners."

All three stopped, and Ranma began to cry muffled tears of relief as the pain stopped.

"Really?" Ukyo's eyes began to shine brightly as she dropped the spatula and flung her arms around the battered man of her dreams and he winced from the bruises. "Ran-chan, now we can be together!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it!"

There was a splintering of wood as Akane kicked in the door. She strode in, her father, kasumi, and the Saotome's behind her. Clutched in the arms of an angry Akane was P-Chan.

"My own daughter!" Soun cried as he fell at Nabiki's feet in tears, looking very much like Kuno. "How could you use your father and betray your father in such a way?"

"Yes, Nabiki, that wasn't a very nice thing to do," Kasumi admonished as she grabbed a broom from out of nowhere and began sweeping up the broken glass and wood scattered across the floor.

Nodoka used her sword to cut her son free. She helped him stand, all the while declaring how manly it was for so many women to fight over him.

"Just like his father!" Genma proudly slapped his son's injured back, sending Ranma into a crying fit that made Nodoka hold the sword in another way entirely.

"Nabiki, you will pay!" Akane shouted as she attempted to stare her sister down. It didn't work, since they had equally strong wills. They just held different values.

"Actually, you will. Ranma is yours for a limited time offer of 13,000 yen."

Akane then slapped Nabiki. Everyone stopped moving. It was as if the world stopped, because not even the wind rustled.

"You will regret this." Nabiki swore. "Everyone, out."

One by one, they all shuffled through the door. Soun was the last to leave. He stopped at the door and turned to look at his daughter, mouth parted as if to begin a plea for her to come with him. He didn't get a chance, though. Ukyo picked the door up and slammed it back into place with a heavy grunt.

"Sorry about that," she told Nabiki with regret in her voice. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble with your family."

The middle Tendo daughter just shook her head. "Don't worry about it. They'll get over it by tomorrow. I'll just stay at a friend's or something."

This time, Ukyo shook her head with a small smile. "No you won't. You can stay here tonight. Konatsu still hasn't come back, so you can just sleep in his room. You don't mind stuffed animals and lace, do you?"

"How much?" Nabiki asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Ukyo walked to the stairs and held a hand out. "I'm not you. I don't charge for anything but food."

Returning the smile, Nabiki took Ukyo's hand as the chef led her upstairs.


	5. Morning After Syndrome

After a shower and changing into one of Ukyo's more feminine outfits (of which there were two), Nabiki walked downstairs to the smell of eggs frying.

"I see you found the bathroom, okay," the chef said cheerfully as she flipped one of the eggs on her grill.

"Well, my family did live here during yours and Ranma's Gambling King stupidity." Nabiki watched as Ukyo added several spices to the eggs before flipping them again. "Thanks for the loaner by the way."

Ukyo assured her that it was no problem. That was what friends did for each other.

"Since when are we friends? I thought you and Akane all buddy-buddy," Nabiki said as she looked over the remnants of the chaos from the night before. If it weren't for the fact that she didn't really care, she might have offered to help Ukyo clean it before they went to school.

The martial artist flipped two eggs onto a plate and set them in front of Nabiki. "Shouldn't I be friends with my partner? Now do you want milk or orange juice?"

A rare pause broke Nabiki's train of thought on damage control for when she went home. Things with Akane, Ranma, and her father might take some time to repair. The Saotomes probably didn't really care which fiancé Ranma chose, and Kasumi would most likely be Kasumi. Having a Buddha for a sister was a great thing.

"Partner?"

There was the sound of liquid being poured into a glass before Ukyo padded back into the dining area with Nabiki's juice.

"I wanted milk, actually," Nabiki said as she looked over the golden drink.

"Sorry," Ukyo said with a smile, "we don't take orders back here. You're stuck with it."

Nabiki just took a sip of the juice before picking up a fork and stabbing the eggs. They were cooked over easy, just the way she liked them. The yolk of the egg broke and the liquefied cholesterol began seeping over the white exterior. "So, what's this partner business? You didn't exactly get Ranma last night. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I just want to know what's going on."

"While I may not be the most honest of people, I do pride myself on my honesty when it comes to business. We had reached an agreement before Akane ran off with Ran-chan. Thus we're stuck together, whether I like it or not."

It was an attitude completely foreign to Nabiki. The schemer had thought she'd found a kindred spirit in the ever-plotting Ukyo.

"Tell me, why does every other girl in the world want Ranma?" Nabiki picked up her fork and began stabbing her eggs. "And before you start on me with your 'Tendo women must die' thing, I'm not downing your precious Ranma. It's just that I really don't see it."

Ukyo poured herself a glass of milk, getting a look from Nabiki that made her smile widely, and started her own eggs on the grill. "That's because you're the girl with no romantic feeling. The only thing you love is money. Word on the street has it like that, anyway."

With a shrug, Nabiki just rolled her eyes. "Money is the only thing that you can rely on. You may not have it, but it's guaranteed that someday, somehow, you're guaranteed to get some of it. Love has no such guarantee."

"Rather cynical aren't you?" Ukyo commented as she peppered her eggs before flipping them over. "Anyone is capable of giving and receiving love. You just have to work hard for it, and the harder you work, the more hopeless it feels, and the more of yourself you have to pour into your work…"

She turned away from Nabiki and covered her face with her hands.

"Ukyo, you're forgetting that I'm here, now," the middle Tendo daughter said as she reached over the sizzling eggs and touched the other teen's arm.

Turning to look at her new partner, eyes wide and shining with unshed tears as a smile bigger than any ever seen before by mankind found itself onto her visage, Ukyo beamed. "Really? You're here for me? Nobody's ever been here for me. You're such a good friend!" the girl blubbered as she jumped over the griddle and pulled Nabiki into a hug.

All Nabiki had meant, though, was that she wanted a refill of her juice. She never felt the need to correct Ukyo's mistake, though.

Soun had cried the entire night, his wails keeping everyone in the Tendo residence awake. Even Kasumi was a little sluggish as she served breakfast for those members of her rather large blended family that hadn't abandoned them or locked themselves away in a room to bawl.

"I'm going to kill your sister, you know," Ranma told Akane as he attempted to stuff his ears with the oatmeal that Kasumi had prepared for everyone. It didn't drown Soun's moans out, though. "Even I thought she had her limits, but to auction me off to the highest bidder…"

With a sigh, Akane just stirred her breakfast with a spoon. "I know. It's even more amazing than the fact that somebody would actually bid on you. Still, she is my sister. Family has to count for something."

"Are you listening to Akane's words, boy?" Genma asked as he poked his son in the side with his spoon. "You have to forgive family, no matter what."

Ranma smashed his bowl over his father's head before dousing him with a bucker of water. "I already told you! You are going to regret the day that you ever even thought of deciding that it would be good training to tie me a streetlight during a blizzard. Half-naked no less!"

The wet, oatmeal ridden panda just swiped at his son, who easily ducked and kicked the bear. Genma grabbed Ranma and threw him into the pond in the Tendo's backyard, and the boy rose out of the water as a girl.

"What did you do that for?" Ranma shouted as Genma jumped out onto the porch. They began swiping at each other as Akane sighed and looked at Nodoka.

"Mrs. Saotome, what should I do? Should I forgive Nabiki for using your son and myself for her own purposes, or should I hold a grudge against her for the rest of my life?"

Nodoka just smiled. "My dear, if you're wondering what to do, then you must already be over your anger. Go and see your sister. It isn't a school day, is it?"

Akane shook her head and stood up with renewed vigour. She marched outside, grabbed Ranma by the collar, and dragged her fiancé out into the street despite cries of wanting to change back or needing to research the most painful way to kill a panda.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed today," Ukyo chirped when she heard the bell above her door ring. It was a sign of another dollar, one that she usually relished, but it was a day to teach Nabiki the ropes at running the restaurant. The other girl had shown dramatic skill at counting out change. "If you come back tomorrow, I'll be happy to serve you."

"Not for me you're not."

It was voice that neither girl had expected to hear that day. Despite her hair being pulled back by the customary ribbon, Ukyo pushed an imaginary set of bangs out of her eyes as she looked to the entrance of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.

"Ran-Chan!" she cried as she jumped over the bar, only to be met by Akane's foot and knocked back onto the grill. Thankfully, as the restaurant was closed that day, the grill hadn't been turned on since Ukyo had finished cooking breakfast. "Ow! How dare you!"

Not in a very good mood, Akane threw a still female Ranma onto the nearest stool before sitting right in front of Ukyo. "I want to talk to you about Ranma. We're friends, or something close to it. That's why I'm coming to you to talk woman-to-woman."

Nabiki ducked under the counter before she could be noticed, surprised that she hadn't already been, and listened intently. There was bound to be something juicy in the ensuing conversation that she could in the future.

"Why do I have to be here?" Ranma asked after dousing himself with hot water from a teakettle that he'd gotten from seemingly nowhere. "I'm not a chick. If you want one of those, go get Ryoga."

"I'd like for you to shut up," Akane said as she smacked him over the head with a mallet. Ukyo growled as Ranma rubbed his sore skull and muttered something about macho chicks. "Thank you."

"What do you want Akane?" Ukyo asked as she stood up and jumped back behind the counter. She looked down, caught Nabiki's eyes, and stayed silent when the oldest of the four in the room held a finger to her lips. "Are you here to tell me to back off Ranma honey because you want him all to yourself?"

There was a long moment of silence in which half the assembled blushed profusely. Then, gathering up the strength she knew he never would, Akane confirmed Ukyo's accusation. "Yes, that's right. Ranma is mine and you're going to back off. If not, I can't be held responsible for what I do."

"No I'm not!" Ranma shouted nervously before being downed by another mallet.

Akane grabbed him by the pigtail and made him look her in the face. "Yes you are, you jerk. I may not like you, but, whether I want to or not, I love you. You brain dead jerk."

Ukyo was speechless.

"What did you say?" Ranma asked as he looked over his pigtail.

Nobody answered. After a few seconds of silence, Nabiki popped up with a wide grin. "I heard it all, sis. You're in love with Ranma, and everyone will know. Unless you give me 2000 yen, that is."

The wood of Ukyo's bar splintered as Akane smashed her hand through it. Ukyo gaped at the damage but didn't say anything. Ranma, however, did.

"Pay her, Akane! We can't let a lie like that get out!"

The youngest Tendo looked at her fiancé. "I am not going to pay Nabiki a single yen! Darn it, Ranma, who are we fooling? If anything is more obvious about how I feel about you, it's how you feel about me."

"No it's not!" he shouted nervously. "You can't tell anything about me other my father engaged me to such a macho chick!"

"RANMA!"

Akane smacked him across the face.

There was finally a reaction from Ukyo at that as she swung her large spatula at Akane, who ducked. Ranma took the blow instead and flew across the room. When he hit the wall, it cracked and he slid to the floor.

His name was cried again as Akane ran to him and took him in her arms. "How could you?"

Ukyo dropped the spatula as though it were on fire. She looked away from Ranma and Akane, her eyes catching Nabiki's. The older woman sighed and walked to her sister.

"Take him home, Akane. We'll be fine here," she said as she looked down on them.

"Yes, Daddy, I'm telling the truth. She said it right in front of me… No, I'm not lying. They just left… I've got to go. Ukyo needs me… I'm not coming home. I have a business to run now. Goodbye."

Nabiki hung up the phone, cutting off the pleads of her father for her return home. Nobody got away with not paying her what she was owed.

"Are you okay?" she asked her partner nonchalantly. Ukyo was sitting on the grill again. Her spatula was still on the floor.

"I lost him tonight, didn't I?" the chef asked with a broken voice. "Just now, when I hit him, he was gone. I've hit him before, but the way she went after him… and I just stood there. She really does love him."

There was only the sound of Nabiki's hair moving as she shook her head. "Don't go acting all sad now. You and I both know that you knew all along. So you lost Ranma to my sister. Big deal. Didn't you come to Nerima to kill him, anyway? Just let it go and make some money."

Ukyo looked over at Nabiki, tears in the corners of her eyes. "How can you be so cold?"

"Years of practice," answered the girl as she climbed onto the grill and sat beside the martial artist. "Sometimes I envy all of you, running around declaring love and whatnot. Then I see a sucker with a wad of cash and it passes. Personally, I'd rather have money than this mess that you've put yourself in."

Laying her head on Nabiki's shoulder, Ukyo wiped away her tears. "They say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, you know. I'm sure after awhile I'll realize just how true that saying is. Now, though, all I have is a void inside of me. A hole that I don't think will be filled for a while. Maybe I should just leave Nerima, buy a traveling okonomiyaki cart like my dad's and leave this town in my memory."

"No you won't," Nabiki said suddenly. "You just made me your partner, and I'm not going to give that up without a fight. You're going to get over Ranma and I'm going to get a more stable income. That's all there is to it."

Wet eyes looked into determined ones. There was fire behind them that Ukyo had thought the other incapable of. "Really?"

"Yes," Nabiki answered as she put an arm around Ukyo's shoulder. "The world is an oyster, and together we're going to get every pearl it has."


	6. Return to Normalcy

"Akane Tendo! Is it true that you have confessed to have feelings for this enemy to women?"

The first thing Akane needed when she got to school the next day was not Kuno waving his kendo sword in her face and looking threateningly at Ranma. After kicking him into a tree, she grabbed Ranma by the pigtail and pulled him into the school. All around, people kept asking them if Kuno's words were true. Ranma denied it, obviously, but the girl kept her silence until she made it into the classroom.

"Miss Tendo!" Hinako Ninomiya, the child-like teacher at Furinkan High, jumped up and down on her desk as the students talked before the first bell rang. "I heard all about your announcement of love to Ranma Saotome. Why would you admit such a thing about such a delinquent as him?"

"Now listen here…" Ranma started before she pulled out a metal coin and he fell to the floor powerless.

She didn't answer her suddenly taller and sexier teacher, and instead sat down in frustration. How had everyone found out? The only other people that had been there were Nabiki and Ukyo. While she wouldn't have put it past Genma and her own father spy and them before jumping through all of Tokyo crying the news at the top of their lungs, she knew that she would have heard them. Ranma was still denying it, something she would have to hit him over later, and Ukyo definitely wouldn't have told anyone. That left just one person.

"Excuse me, Teacher, but I need to speak to my sister."

Hinako nodded and let Akane leave. Unbeknownst to her student, though, Hinako then announced a class field trip to the upperclassmen's classroom.

"Excuse me, but I could I speak with Nabiki?" Akane asked when she reached the classroom.

"Akane Tendo has come to my class in search of her sister, undoubtedly to ask her if she should rebuke that foul Saotome and marry a man far better suited for her," Kuno spouted before Akane hit him in the face with a loose desk.

Nabiki rose from her seat, arms crossed over her chest defensively. The people in the room began whispering. Neither paid them any heed. Since Ranma had come to Nerima, and even awhile before that, the Tendo siblings had been a constant source of gossip. The notable exception had to be Kasumi. Even in high school, she had retained her calm demeanour and sunny disposition.

"What is it?"

"In the hall," Akane ordered. With a sigh and a shake of the head, Nabiki walked through the door held open by her sister.

"How can I help you today? Would you like me to clean up this mess regarding your confession of love to Ranma? It'll only cost you 1600 yen. Consider it a family discount."

The urge to slap her again rose within Akane, but she fought it back down. "Actually, I want to know if you're the one who told everyone that I said I love Ranma."

The pigtailed boy attempted to declare that it was a lie, but his classmates grabbed him and drug him back behind the corner before tying him up and putting tape over his mouth. Nothing was going to interrupt this for them.

A sceptical eyebrow rose into Nabiki's bangs as she snorted. "Of course I did. It's not like it was a big secret."

Akane face-vaulted at the directness of her sister's words. "Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't it be a secret?"

"So, Akane Tendo, your sister's venomous words are true? I am afraid that if I, Tatewaki Kuno, cannot have you, then no man shall."

He began to swing his sword at Akane. She ducked under it and struck with a punch that landed squarely in his gut. Then Akane kicked him back into the classroom, where he crashed into a group of students that had been observing the chaos that would soon break out, as was the tendency at Furinkan High.

"Really," she muttered before re-acknowledging her sister. "Nabiki, why would you do this to me? Of all the things you've done, this has to be the worst."

There was no response from a rather bored looking Nabiki.

"Would you answer me?" Akane screamed at the top of her voice.

There was a rustling of wind and Cologne appeared at Nabiki's side. "I can tell you what she was thinking. From the beginning, she had planned to bring you and my grandson-in-law together so that she wouldn't have to be the one to marry him. I'm afraid I can't allow that, however, as that would result in the exile of Shampoo from the village."

"Yes, you are right," another wizened old prune of a person said as Happosai appeared on Akane's head. She reached up, grabbed him, and threw him to the ground. He simply spun and landed on his feet unharmed. "The plan of Akane and Ranma coming together has been one that every member of the Tendo and Saotome families has agreed upon. However, I do not believe that this girl was involved in it. She has other motives, less pure ones."

"Of course I do," Nabiki said as she entered the conversation. "If my sister marries Ranma, then it's true that I never have to worry about being the one tied down to that idiot…"

"Nabiki!" Akane hissed, but it didn't interrupt her sister at all.

"…However, there are other benefits as well. Shampoo would go away, Kuno would stop hounding me about it all the time, and maybe my new business partner would start concentrating on her own well-being."

Ukyo, silent up to this point, blushed as the rest of her class, Ranma included, looked at her.

"I'm still afraid I cannot allow these two to wed," Cologne challenged, looking at Nabiki.

"I'm afraid you have no choice," Nabiki retaliated, looking at Cologne with the same intensity that the old woman held.

Suddenly, a window exploded as Shampoo dove through it. Shards of glass flew everywhere, and all but two of the students gathered ran out of the way. Ranma grabbed Akane and leapt just out of reached.

"Ah!" Ukyo cried as she pulled a large piece of glass out of her arm. "That stupid Shampoo is going to get it!"

"You just…" For once in her life, Nabiki was at a loss for words.

"Aiya! Ranma is okay, yes?" Shampoo called as she walked through the carnage and pulled the pig-tailed boy into a hug. "Shampoo hear that you love Akane, but Shampoo no believe is true. Ranma love Shampoo."

"He's fine, no thanks to you!" Akane shouted angrily. "It's bad enough that you exploded through walls, but at least that doesn't cut anyone!"

Ignoring the youngest Tendo, the Amazonian looked about until she spotted Cologne. "Great-grandmother? Why are you here?"

"Hello, Shampoo. I'm here trying to ensure that my future grandson-in-law doesn't run off with the wrong woman. Is that why you are here?"

She shook her head and produced a box with the Cat Café's insignia on. "No, somebody order ramen. Shampoo deliver to get away from stupid Mousse."

Everyone face-vaulted.

"That ramen is for the most romantic of all men," Kuno said as he walked out of the classroom. He stepped over Ukyo and fished into his pockets. "It is 1200 yen, yes? You may keep the change as surely as my heart is held by the beauties of world."

He readdressed Akane, but before his mouth could open his face was met by Ranma's foot.

"That's quite enough, lover boy," the pig-tailed one muttered.

"You dare attack me!" Kuno shouted as he began swinging at Ranma. While Ranma was content to dodge, Shampoo had other ideas as she knocked Kuno through a wall.

"Ranma date with Shampoo, yes?"

"No," Akane said as she splashed the Chinese warrior with a bucket of water. Ranma began screaming and clamped onto Akane just as the girl kicked the cat out the broken window. "Ranma, get off of me."

"C-c-cat…" he cried as she pushed him to the floor.

Nabiki hadn't paid any attention to the ensuing chaos as she looked over Ukyo's wound. "It's not too deep. We'll just go see Dr. Tofu. He's a lot better than the nurse we have here at the school. Something tells me that skipping class won't matter much today."

The older girl helped the younger one to her feet, her hand gingerly placed on Ukyo's stomach. Nobody paid attention as the two shuffled off. They were all much more interested in Ranma's resurgence of denial concerning his and Akane's relationship despite the fact that Akane had yelled at him to get over it and admit that he loved her.

"Ranma, you jerk!" Akane screamed on the verge of tears. "If I can tell you that I love you, why can't you do the same for me?"

She booted him into a recovering Kuno, knocking the swordsman back out. Everyone began whispering as she ran down the hallway opposite the direction that her sister had gone.

The wind blew softly as Akane ran through the small wooded grove on the school grounds. Tears were wiped away as soon as they fell onto her face, but she just couldn't keep up.

She came upon Ryoga sitting in front of a bucket of water. Catching her breath and wiping her face clean one last time, she sat beside him and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped about three feet in the air and yelped, but when he came back down he noticed it was Akane that had interrupted his meditation.

"What're you doing at the school, Ryoga?" she asked with a voice that one could tell was being controlled if they thought hard enough. Akane was glad that it was Ryoga she was talking to.

"The school?" He looked about wildly. "I was certain that I was in a thick wood. I've been here ever since our date."

Akane cringed but didn't pursue the topic.

"Akane," Ryoga looked at the canopy of leaves overhead as the soft breeze played with his bangs. "Is it true what they say? Do you really love Ranma?"

"Yes." Dejection entered her voice as she looked away. Despite the fact that they had just been on a (failed) date, she still thought of Ryoga as a close friend and confidante. "I do love Ranma, and I know he loves me. he just won't admit it. Why do people have to lie and be so secretive? I'm just so sick of it."

Ryoga twitched at that and looked at the water heavily. "Akane, could you ever hate me?"

"Of course not, Ryoga," she beamed. "We're friends!"

"Friends…" he muttered so low that she couldn't hear him. "What if you found out that I had been lying to you?"

She looked at him oddly but didn't say anything.

"I love… loved you, Akane. I always have and believe I always will," the sentimental martial artist told her as he kept his eyes locked on the bucket ahead of him. His words caught her off guard, so she didn't even notice that he wasn't focused on her. "I love you so much that I've kept myself, my true self from you."

"Ryoga?" Her voice was soft and kind despite the worry in her heart. She had never known just how he had felt about her. There weren't any clues at all.

"Ranma isn't the only one to have been cursed by Jusenkyo."

"Oh, I know that," Akane said brightly. "There's also Mr. Saotome, Shampoo, Mousse, Pantyhose Taro, and those guys from the Musk Dynasty and Ho'oh Peak."

Ryoga about slapped himself.

"That's not what I meant," he responded as he lifted the water bucket. "Akane, please say that you won't hate me."

"What for?" she asked.

"Please," Ryoga begged. "Just say it."

The wind whistled once again as the two looked at each other.

"Ryoga. I promise that I will never hate you."

He whispered his thanks before turning the bucket over and splashing himself. Where a teenage boy had sat just a second before, there was now a small black pig with a bandana around its neck.

"P-Chan?" Akane asked confusedly. "Where's Ryoga?"

The pig sat on its hind legs before pointing at itself with one of its front hooves. A look of horror flashed on Akane's face as she stood up and ran away.

"You're sure that you're not coming in to Dr. Tofu's today?" Nabiki asked the person on the other end of the phone. "You're absolutely sure?"

With a "thank you," Nabiki hung up the payphone and looked at her friend.

"Kasumi's staying home today, so it should be safe to go in. Come on."

The Tendo girl grabbed Ukyo's hand and drug her inside. The Dr. was just finishing up with an elderly man when he noticed his two new patients. "Hello, Nabiki. It's not often that I see you. It's usually one of your sisters coming in here. Oh, who is this?" he walked away from the old man and began looking over Ukyo. When he noticed the way Nabiki was holding her, his lips curled into a mischievous grin. "Is she a friend of yours?"

Neither girl was sure of why he emphasized what he did, so they just ignored it. "Dr. Tofu, this is Ukyo Kuonji, a… partner of mine, I should say."

"Partner?" he asked curiously as the old man wandered out and Ukyo was led to a stool. "Just what does that mean, exactly?"

"You know Ucchan's Okonomiyaki?" Ukyo asked. The doctor nodded as he ushered a reluctant Nabiki away and lifted the girl's arm up to look at the wound. She gasped at first, but he reached onto a nearby tray and began crushing several herbs together. "Well, Nabiki is kind of my business partner now."

"Really?" Dr. Tofu got a glint to his eyes as he added a liquid that turned the crushed herbs into a paste. "That's interesting."

Nabiki looked him over suspiciously. What was going through his mind?

"How is that interesting?" the Tendo girl asked as she leaned against a counter, arms crossed over her chest and cynicism in her voice.

"It's just that you're too greedy to be a partner!" he answered simply as she fell to the floor, smacking her head on a chair on her way down. Dr. Tofu set his concoction back on the tray he had set up before looking Nabiki over. "Are you okay?"

"There was a sudden chill," was all she said as she rubbed the back of her head. "It's nothing. How's Ukyo?"

The other girl looked at her friend curiously. Why did she take her to this quack?

"She should be fine." He went back to Ukyo, slathered the paste on her cut, and slapped a bandage on it. "Just change that bandage once a day for a couple days, and everything should be fine."

"Thank you, Dr.," Ukyo said with a slight bow. "I hope that if see each other again someone isn't hurt."

There was an eyeroll from Nabiki. Wasn't it a case of something always going wrong when Dr. Tofu showed up? At least Ukyo didn't suffer from Jusenkyo Syndrome. Then she'd be hearing about trips to China all the time, too. That was one of the things she didn't miss about living at home, despite the fact that she'd only lived with Ukyo for two days.

"Don't we have to go open shop now?" Nabiki asked with a sigh as she helped the okonomiyaki chef to her feet.

"What about my pay?" Tofu asked. Nabiki threw a handful of photographs at him.

The pair had made it just outside the shop when Nabiki remembered something. She didn't have a change of clothes at Ukyo's. there weren't any clothes of hers there, actually. All of her stuff was still at her dad's.

"How do you feel about making a little side trip before going home?" Nabiki asked Ukyo.

Ukyo looked at her housemate. "What are you plotting?"

"Nothing," Nabiki answered truthfully, probably for the first time in her life. "I just want to pick up my stuff."

"I guess it won't hurt to open up a few hours late," Ukyo admitted as they headed in the direction of a place neither one really wanted to go.

Dr. Tofu grinned madly until he put away the last picture of Kasumi. That was one smart girl Soun had raised, he realized. How better to distract someone from money than to give them a glimpse at what they want most? Not that he actually wanted the eldest Tendo daughter…

"Shoot," he muttered when he noticed that the girl's were gone. He hadn't even gotten to use his paralysis powder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to some previous confusion, the paralysis powder was a reference to one of the first published Ranma stories.


	7. Homeward Bound

Nabiki studied the front door of the Tendo home for several minutes. It looked to Ukyo as though her new friend and business partner was agonizing over the possible ways of solving this particular problem. It probably wasn't the easiest thing to do: going home after attempting to break up your sister and her fiancé.

With a sigh, the middle Tendo daughter gathered her courage and grabbed the knob. As soon as she opened the door, she looked at Ukyo before stepping inside. As soon as she was in the building, a pair of feminine hands grabbed her and drug her into the kitchen with surprising strength. Ukyo suffered a similar fate. The only difference was that her captors were a moustached man and a panda. They muttered something about if they would have time to "change him back" before disappearing behind a door.

Akane wasn't sure if she was mad or depressed. All she knew for sure was that her "friend" Ryoga had betrayed her in the worst way possible. All of those nights she had cuddled up to the little black pig, the secrets she'd told him. She couldn't bear to bring herself to so much as whisper his name to the wind.

"Hello, Akane Tendo," Mousse said as he rode past her, then brought his bicycle to a stop right in front of her. "I, too, have heard of your love of Ranma Saotome. I request that you and I work together to…"

She didn't hear the rest of his plan to break up Ranma and Shampoo. The girl had gotten so angry that she actually picked Mousse up, bike and all, and hurled him off into the distance. Enough plotting had happened. So many lies, countless hidden agendas. It was almost as though nobody actually cared about her anymore. Even her own sister had sold her out! Not that Nabiki had never done that before, but to do it in the way that she had…

"If I ever see her again, any of them, I smash them into dust," she screamed as she threw a punch into the air. Another, this one in a black leotard, just barely jumped out of the way as she turned a corner and almost walked into Akane's fist.

"Oh ho! So, you attempt to attack me, Akane Tendo?" Kodachi laughed. She pulled a ribbon out and swung it at her loved one's fiancé. Akane caught it with her hand. Her palm stung slightly.

"I'm really not in the mood for you," the youngest of the Tendo family hissed as she kicked at Kodachi, who easily dodged it. Then the Kuno heiress swung at Akane with a mallet. A hand caught it in its path for Furinkan High's most talked about female martial artist.

His pigtail flapping in the wind, Ranma tore the mallet from Kodachi's grasp and threw it in the same direction that Mousse had just gone. "Hello, Kodachi."

"Ranma, my darling!" she exclaimed as she leapt forward to embrace him. He jumped up and she smashed face first into a mailbox.

"Are you okay, Akane?" he asked with genuine concern.

"It's nothing I couldn't handle." She turned away from him and formed another fist. Soon after, her hand went through a wall. An old woman puttering about in her garden yelled something about destruction of private property.

A hand found its way onto her shoulder. "That's not what I was talking about, Akane. I just ran into Ryoga. He told me that you told you about P-Chan. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. After awhile, we just kind of figured it was better to let you live in blissful ignorance, like the Kuno siblings."

He jerked his thumb at the unconscious Kodachi for emphasis.

"You knew," she accused with a finger in his chest. "Why is everyone lying to me? Nabiki, Ryoga… even you! Why do the people I care about most not give a damn about me?"

"I did what I did because I do care about you," he confessed as he took in his own the hand that owned the finger pressing against his lung. "Telling you the truth about Ryoga would have hurt you worse than hearing it from the horse's, or I should say, pig's mouth."

"Like you care about me. All you do is make fun of me in front of our friends and family," she said as she jerked her hand free from its embrace

Ranma twiddles his thumbs before sighing. "Akane, I care about you. In fact, you're right. I do love you."

For the second time that day, she was caught completely off guard. First Ryoga, now this. What was next? Shampoo and Gosunkugi kissing in the middle of the street?

"Say," Ranma took Akane's hand in his own again. "How about we just go home and finally give our parents a reason to celebrate?"

She smiled up at him. "I'd like that very much."

Then the old woman working on her garden accidentally lost control of the hose she'd been using to water her plants.

"Oh!" she called out to Ranma and Akane. "I hope you young ladies can forgive an old woman for getting you wet!"

"We've got good news!" Akane announced when she threw open the door of her house to find that it had already been transformed into a wedding ceremony. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously. There was no way that the news had gotten out that fast.

"Welcome home, Akane," Kasumi greeted cheerfully as she hung a banner above the livingroom sofa. "Mrs. Saotome's busy getting you dressed in the kitchen for your wedding, so…"

Realizing just who she was talking to, the gentle homemaker covered her mouth and looked off to where muffled sounds were coming from the kitchen.

"If you're here, then who is that?" Akane's sister asked nobody.

Nodoka, with surprising strength, walked out of the kitchen with a young woman, her head covered by a canvas bag, in the wedding dress from Akane and Ranma's failed wedding after the Ho'oh Peak incident. Genma (in panda form) and Soun also carried out a young woman in a tuxedo who would've have hit and kicked them had it not been for the fact that her hands and feet were bound with rope.

"What's going on?" Akane asked Ranma. He shrugged before looking on curiously.

"I said, 'LET ME GO!'" the girl in the tux shouted angrily. "Are you two blind? I'm not Ranma!"

"Nice try, but that disguise can't fool your father-in-law," Soun chuckled as he poured hot water from a teakettle onto Genma. "You will marry my daughter today."

Concerned that their parents may have kidnapped some strangers from the street, Ranma and Akane walked down the aisle and stood just behind the couple at the altar.

"Daddy, what's going on?" Akane asked as she looked at the girl in the tux. "Why are you forcing Ukyo into a marriage?"

Looking over at his daughter, Soun saw the female Ranma standing beside her. "If you're Ranma," he doused the red-headed girl with hot water and his eyes widened when his would be son-in-law appeared before his eyes. "Saotome, who do we have here?"

"I don't know," Tendo's old friend replied with a cardboard sign, suddenly back in his panda form. He took the teakettle from Soun and poured it over the girl's head, but she remained female.

"That hurt, you stupid old man!" Ukyo shouted as she smashed Genma's head with her giant spatula. Somehow, she had gotten free of her binds.

"U-Ukyo?" Soun stuttered as he looked the girl over. "If this is you, then who…"

Nodoka looked worried as she pulled the bag of the bride's head to reveal Nabiki. The middle daughter didn't look too happy about the situation, either. "Someone is going to pay for this."

Nobody responded. They were all in shock. Everyone remembered just how beautiful Akane had looked in that dress. While her sister didn't hold the exact same beauty, she was still astonishing in the white garment.

"Wow," Ukyo finally said as she walked over to Nabiki and looked at her. "You're actually kind of hot."

"Thanks," Nabiki said with a shrug before giving her friend the once over. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"Now this is a wedding!" Happosai cried as he dropped from the ceiling onto Ranma's head. The pig-tailed boy swung at the old man, but Happosai quickly leapt between the unwitting wedding couple, leaving Ranma to punch himself in the head. "I always saw you as the blushing bride, Nabiki."

Ukyo swung the spatula at Happosai, but he just leapt away with ease. "You old pervert!"

"Would someone please kill him?" Nabiki asked the stunned room.

"You think we haven't tried?" Ranma answered as he kicked at the old master, only to have Happosai land back on his head. The old man opened a bottle of wine and began guzzling it down.

Akane couldn't bring herself to speak. The thought of Nabiki alone was enough to send waves of anger crashing over her. However, Nabiki in her wedding dress seemed to bring all of the day's frustrations out. "Nabiki, get out of that dress now!"

"Why?" her sister taunted as Ranma began chasing Happosai across the room. When the old man passed by Ukyo, he gave her behind a firm grope that enraged the okonomiyaki chef. She swung her spatula at him, but he dodged it again and she ended up bringing down the banner that Kasumi had just hung.

While half of the group began attempting to end Happosai's long life, the rest watched the sisters with great interest. It wasn't uncommon for Nabiki to draw the ire of the people around her, even Akane, but for the two to actually fight so openly was unthinkable.

"You must stop!" Soun cried as he jumped between his daughters with unnecessary flair. "Family members must not argue in front of outsiders. It is not honourable."

"Who's the outsider?" Nabiki asked curiously. "Last I knew, everyone here was a part of the family, wanted or not."

Ranma and Ukyo both stopped and looked at the rest as Happosai ceased in his movement.

"That!" The master of the Tendo Dojo pointed openly at Ukyo. "She isn't family. In fact, she is the reason that my happy family has been torn apart."

"Were we happy?" Akane asked Kasumi. The ever-cheerful eldest sister just smiled brightly and shrugged.

"That's stepping over the line, Daddy. You're talking about my friend as though she were the sole cause of the problems going on, how easily people forget that it's Ranma's fault," Nabiki said coldly. "If he would just own up to how he felt about Akane…"

"I have," Ranma admitted as he walked to Akane and took her hand in his. "Just today, before we got home."

Ukyo looked crestfallen and slinked away in a manner very much resembling Konatsu.

"You did!" Soun declared happily as he patted Ranma on the shoulder. "Well, this wedding doesn't need to stop, then. We'll just have Ranma and Akane switch outfits with Nabiki and Ukyo."

"Where did Ukyo go?" Nodoka asked curiously. Everyone in the room looked around, but not a one could see the cross-dressing martial artist. "I'll just have to go fetch your father's marital clothes. Do you mind, Ranma?"

Akane stamped her foot as her sister ran past her and out the door. "Who said anything about getting married? What is it with you people? Just learn to take good news in moderation!"

Nobody listened as they all set about fixing the decorations and fetching the pig-tailed boy a change of clothes.

"Akane?" Kasumi asked as she began hanging the banner that she'd been working on when the new couple had first entered the house. "Shouldn't be getting changed? By the way, have either of you seen Nabiki? She's wearing the wedding dress, unless you'd rather wear mother's old kimono. Father would love that."

Ranma and Akane just looked at each other pitifully.

"Bah," Happosai grumbled as he settled on the couch with a jug of sake. "The other wedding couple was more interesting."

"Ukyo?" Nabiki cried as she ran through the streets of Nerima, ignoring the curious looks of the people on the street while holding up the skirt of the wedding dress. "Ukyo! Come out and talk to me. Don't listen to my father. He's just set in the old ways."

The okonomiyaki chef jumped onto the sidewalk, landing in front of her friend.

"Why did you go?" Nabiki asked. "I know my dad can be an insensitive jerk sometimes, but I thought you knew that already."

"That's not why I left," Ukyo answered solemnly as looked up at the tree she'd just been occupying. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she'd been crying.

"What was…" Nabiki stopped speaking before she had finished the question, because she already knew the answer. "It was Ranma and Akane, wasn't it? Really, those two are starting to get on my nerves. I always thought things would be easier if they just came out with it, but look at you."

"I knew how they feel about each other," Ukyo admitted as she wiped at a tear that had leaked from its duct. "It's just… hearing it isn't as easy as you'd think. Haven't you ever put your whole being into something just to have it taken away like that?"

To emphasize her point, Ukyo snapped her fingers.

Nabiki nodded as she let the hem of the dress drop to the ground. "Yeah. When I was thirteen, I'd conned a kid out of his Playstation. The loser ran to his mom, who came to my dad, and I had to give it back."

An eyebrow rose on Ukyo's forehead. She'd never taken Nabiki as the videogame type.

"You know what, screw it," Nabiki said as she lifted her skirt up with one hand and hooked the other one in one of Ukyo's arms. "Let's just go home."

"Do you really think I'm ready to see Ran-Chan marry your sister?" Ukyo asked sadly as she looked at the ground.

"No!" Nabiki exclaimed. "It's just that Ucchan's is still closed. We need money if we're going to stay afloat. Now come on, let's go home."

Both girls smiled as they strode down the street, not paying the least bit of attention to the onlookers that wondered why there was a young wedded couple walking down the street in their wedding clothes.

Kodachi Kuno watched Nabiki and Ukyo happily enter Ucchan's Okonomiyaki and prepare for the coming business.

"So, another obstacle is out of my way. That just leaves the Chinese girl and Akane Tendo," she laughed evilly as she stood. Something else caught her eye a little ways away. People pointed at the girl in the black leotard jumping from rooftop to rooftop until she jumped into the backyard of one of Nerima's unfortunate residents.

"What do you want?" the young man asked dejectedly. "Why are you in Kyoto, Kodachi?"

"This is still Tokyo," the Black Rose laughed as she slapped the emotional Ryoga on the back. "Besides, you're one of my brother's competitors for the attention of that wretch Akane Tendo, are you not?"

"Do not speak of Akane that way!" Ryoga shouted angrily before returning to his previously sad state. "Besides, she hates me now."

"It is such a fine line between love and hate," Kodachi retorted as she touched Ryoga's cheek tantalizingly. "Come now, don't tell me that you've actually given up on her."

"What are you saying?" Ryoga asked curiously.

"Just that you join us," she answered as a duck flew out of a nearby tree and landed on her shoulder.

"Us?" Ryoga looked at the duck curiously. "Who's us?"

"Why, Mousse and myself," she laughed again.

Ryoga looked around quickly and in all directions. "Mousse! Is he here? Where is he?"

The duck smacked Ryoga in the face with a hot teakettle. While Ryoga picked himself up from the ground, Kodachi took the teakettle from the duck's bill and poured its contents on the waterfowl. After screaming and ducking behind a bush, Mousse walked back into the yard with a branch held at his front and another at his side.

"We want you to join us," the Chinese warrior told Ryoga. "We're going to break up Ranma and Shampoo, but we'll need your help. You can have Akane as payment."

Unsure of what to do, Ryoga looked at the empty teakettle lying on the ground. He had to win back Akane's affection somehow. But would lying and betraying her be the way to do it?

"I'm sorry," he said as he turned his back on the scheming pair. "Leave me out of your plans."

As the sombre martial artist walked away, Kodachi and Mousse looked at each other. With a sigh, the boy walked to a nearby hose and doused himself with cold water. He looked at Kodachi before spreading his wings and flying off to the Cat Café.

"So," Kodachi whispered as she watched Ryoga's retreating back. "It appears I will have to enlist the aid of my brother after all."


	8. Splendour of the Heavens

Things had been hectic at Ucchan's. It had even gotten so bad that Nabiki had been forced to abandon the register and do the transactions at the table while she served the customers their food and drinks.

"I can't wait until Konatsu comes back," the chef announced with a heavy breath. "If things keep up like this, I'll definitely need the extra help."

Nabiki paled at the thought of the young man returning. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't want him to return. "Where did you say he was?"

"He's supposed to be off getting supplies, but it shouldn't take this long. Then again, knowing that cheapskate, he's probably off raising his own crops in preparation instead of buying them."

"You don't need him anyway. You have me, after all," Nabiki reminded Ukyo with an uncharacteristic show of concern. As if to cover up the lapse in her emotional control, she turned one of the chairs over onto the bar as she began sweeping. "Besides, while he's gone that means more money for us."

"For you, maybe," Ukyo said as she eyed Nabiki's back curiously. She had definitely caught the change in the older girl's voice, but didn't pursue it. Some things were just better left unexplored. "I never actually paid Konatsu. He's the "work for your room" type of guy. You're eating up my funds, mind you. My personal income has been cut in half. One of the perks of engaging in a stupid business decision that I should have known would only disappoint me."

"So, I'm a disappointment?" Nabiki asked with a laugh. She knew that Ukyo hadn't meant what she was inferring, but it was funny to watch the cross dresser try to talk her way out of it. "That really hurts."

Ukyo stamped her foot as she balled her fists at her sides. "That's not what I meant, and you know that!"

"I'm just kidding. Geez, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Ranma was right. That little angry bit was actually cute. I'm just glad there weren't any mallets involved."

There was no way for the chef to respond to that. It was one thing for Ranma to call her cute, and she'd actually been referred to as "the cute fiancée" at Furinkan High. Still, for cold-hearted Nabiki to actually say something like that… It was a pretty big deal. She wasn't exactly well known for her courteous behaviour. In fact, only Kuno could be more outrageous in that particular year.

"Umm… thank you," she stammered nervously as she turned away to hide her reddening cheeks.

"Now, let's see how much we raked in today." Nabiki, oblivious to Ukyo's sudden burst of shyness, popped open the register and began to count it down. (A/N: I'm a cashier, so I finally have an idea what I'm talking about!) She sorted through the bills, making sure they were all facing the same direction before bundling them up and putting them in the lockbox that was kept under the counter. "This may be fine for you," Nabiki said after she closed up the lockbox, "but I would feel better if we had a safe to keep our money in."

"I make deposits every day the bank is open, and only keep enough for a till and possible shortages on the smaller bills and change. So I don't really know why you're worried about…" Ukyo stopped midsentence when she realized what her new partner and roommate had just said. "Wait a minute. Did you just say 'our money'?"

A look of shock crossed Nabiki's face when she realized just what she had done. It was the first time Nabiki had ever referenced money that wasn't specifically hers, or at least owed to her.

"Don't worry about it," Ukyo said as she turned away from Nabiki again, her cheeks a bright scarlet. "I'll just pick up a safe this weekend."

"You don't have to waste the money," Nabiki assured her friend as she laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'll just get one from the Kunos. They throw out all kinds of junk everyday. Oh, to be that rich…"

Ukyo turned back to her friend with an evil grin. "You know, if you really want that kind of money, you could always just marry Kuno."

At that moment, every student that had ever attended Furinkan High felt their soul grow cold for just a moment. (A/N: Those who might remember this joke know where it's recycled from. Sorry if it brings back bad memories, but I thought it was too good to be erased completely.)

"I can honestly say that I would rather die," Nabiki admitted morosely. "That is the stupidest man I've ever met, and I live in Nerima."

"Well, if he's not your type…" Ukyo continued with that same evil smirk, "then what about Kodachi? Just grow your hair out, put it in a pigtail, and pretend to be Ranma."

"Do you honestly think she'd fall for that?" Nabiki asked with a look of true horror on her face.

"She is a Kuno, isn't she?"

Tired of, and little disturbed by, the conversation, Nabiki opened the cashbox again and double counted the money. "If we take out the initial till and the approximate value of the ingredients, then we've made about five hundred thousand yen tonight. Not bad, but I was expecting a bit more."

"That'll be a nice deposit. They've only been around half that for the last few months. I wonder what brought them out tonight?" Ukyo wondered. "It's a weeknight, so it can't have been dates. Besides, most of the customers were men."

They began theorizing on just what it was that made the night so prosperous so that they could take advantage of it in the future when the door burst open.

"We're closed!" Nabiki shouted angrily, upset that her time with Ukyo was being disturbed. It caught the chef off guard. She hadn't expected the Tendo daughter to ever turn down an opportunity for money.

"Nabiki Tendo?" a young man with several bruises and a black eye muttered as he stumbled into the room before collapsing in front of the counter the two women were standing behind.

"Someone's here for you?" Ukyo asked her friend. Confused, all Nabiki could do was shrug. They peered over the counter and their eyes grew big when they recognized just whom it was.

Kodachi watched the Tendo house. Mousse was back at the Kuno mansion trying to explain the plan to her brother, but with little success. She'd decided that some reconnaissance needed to be done before Operation: Break Up Akane And Ranma So That They Can Be Dated By Other People could begin. Her brother Tatewaki had been the one to name it. (One of his conditions to joining forces with his sister.)

"What you do?"

The Black Rose turned around and saw a girl with violet hair staring at her. She jumped back and swung a ribbon at Shampoo. However, the girl who became a cat had much better skills.

"So, you have come to steal my Ranma away from that vile Tendo woman, have you not?" Kodachi accused as she pointed at Shampoo with a club. "You will not have him!"

"Stupid girl," Shampoo responded as she got into a battle stance of her own.

"Happosai, you dirty old man!" Akane screamed as she chased him through the Tendo house with her trusty mallet. He just stuck his tongue out and waved her bra in the air as she swung.

"You can't catch m…"

The wall exploded as two women crashed into the house in a flurry of punches and kicks. The old man was enveloped in it for a few moments as various parts of the house crumbled under the intensity of the battle. When he was ejected, he had more bumps on his head than an American teenager that works in fast food.

"What's going on?" Ranma shouted as he entered the hallway to see the devastation. "Shampoo? Kodachi?"

"Ranma!" the two women shouted together as they ceased fighting and jumped at him. Akane stood in front of him and sent them away with a single kick.

She glared at the intruding women angrily. "What are you doing in my house?"

"Stupid Akane."

"Foul temptress! Step away from my Ranma!"

The two women stared at each other before diving for Akane. They were swept away by a large spatula.

Ukyo fought off the other two women while Akane heard someone call her name. She ran away from the battle, Ranma hot on her heels. At the entrance to the Dojo, Nabiki struggled to drag a body inside.

"Would someone get this idiot off me?"

Ranma took the boy in his arms and laid him on the floor. "He sure looks rough. Who is this, Ucchan's new boyfriend?"

Nabiki glared at Ranma as though he'd just said the most vile thing ever.

"Watch," Nabiki said as she poured a bucket of water on the young man, which transformed into a small pig. She then grabbed a nearby teakettle and turned him back.

"Ryoga?" Akane backed away slightly.

"What happened? I barely recognized you," Ranma said to his friend/rival.

There was no answer, a fact that didn't surprise anyone.

"I think it was that," Nabiki said as she nodded in the direction of the sounds of chaos. "We saw Shampoo and Kodachi really going at it when we came over. I think he was jumped. We all know how strong Ryoga is, so it had to've been someone really strong."

"You think Shampoo and Kodachi did this?" Ranma asked his fiancé's sister.

"No. They're going at it. It had to have been someone else."

Ukyo crashed through the wall, her face streaked with tears as she struggled to stand. Her large spatula was long gone. Nabiki cried her name as Kodachi caught her with a ribbon while Shampoo kicked her across the room. It seemed the two women had reach a temporary truce.

"Stupid Ukyo girl no match for Shampoo," the Amazon warrior declared as she levelled a punch that the okonomiyaki chef barely blocked. She couldn't deflect the club to her back from Kodachi, though.

"Stop!" Nabiki cried as she launched herself at a very surprised Kodachi. The younger Kuno cried out in shock as Nabiki clawed at her. A foot lodged itself under Nabiki's ribcage as she was kicked off. The money hungry girl hit a wall and slumped to the floor unconscious.

"What are you doing?" Ranma shouted as he stood up from his perch by Ryoga. Shampoo threw herself at him again. This time, he didn't need Akane to protect himself.

She grabbed her cheek as a hand-shaped redmark began to appear. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes as she fled.

The three conscious fighter looked for Kodachi, but couldn't find her.

"No," Ukyo cried when she saw Nabiki's prone form. She limped to the other girl and cradled her in her arms. Her hair had come undone and fell around her face as she held Nabiki to her bosom.

Akane still couldn't speak as she watched how her former rival rocked back and forth with her sister in arms. Even now, with their love for each other in the open, would he hold her like that?

Another wall exploded as a giant ox-like creature with tentacles and a snake for a tail entered the building. A stray thought crossed Akane's mind as to why her house hadn't fallen apart yet.

"Tell me," Pantyhose Taro said as the steam rose around his body, "where is the old man, Crossdresser?"


	9. Waking Up

The first thing Nabiki felt when she regained consciousness wasn't the sudden rush of a headache or the fatigue of her muscles. No, the first thing she felt was the warm hand in her own. She opened her eyes, but because her vision hadn't adjusted to the bright sunlight she couldn't make out the person looming over her.

"U…" she groaned before seeing that it was Akane holding her hand with a worried expression. "Akane?"

"Hey, Sis," the martial artist answered without the sarcasm that had been cropping up between the two as of late. "Glad to see that you're awake."

"Where's Ukyo?" Nabiki shouted as she sat up before having to grab her head. Whatever it was that Kodachi had done to her had some horribly lingering side effects. She was going to have to have a long talk with Kuno regarding the cutting off of his supply of photos of Akane and the "pigtailed girl" if he didn't reign in his sister. Making money was very high on Nabiki's list of things in life. The only things ahead of it were herself and…

"Ukyo is right here."

Akane pointed to the battered okonomiyaki chef. She was curled up in a corner of the Dojo, her hair still down and her clothes ripped. Ranma definitely got it right when he coined her as cute. Despite the bruising, there was still something about Ukyo that dimmed even the sun in comparison.

"Is she okay?" Nabiki asked as she crawled over to the other girl and felt her face. It was so swollen. Even after being dumped by Ranma, she went to this extreme of lengths to protect him. This was why Nabiki had always felt love to be fruitless.

"Exhaustion is probably the worst of it. She's a martial artist, so she should be fine," Akane said awkwardly as she watched her sister caress another woman. What would her family say if they knew? Her father especially. Kasumi would probably just giggle and comment that Ukyo would make a lovely groom. The Saotomes might not be interested in having Ukyo as an in-law, but it really wasn't any of their concern. That just left Happosai and her father. The old letch would love it more than anyone. Maybe then Ranma would catch a break. Then again, he'd probably just insist on Ranma being in his girl-form whenever he showed his fiancée any kind of affection.

"Is something wrong, Akane?" Nabiki looked at her sister curiously.

"I'm just thinking about Mom. She would have loved to have seen her children so in love." Akane felt that if anything were true in the world, it would have been that. Her mother was the type of person that believed love was above all other things in the world.

"Children?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the only one with somebody?"

"N-no," she stuttered in response. "There's Kasumi and Dr. Tofu. Plus, you and…"

"Me and who? Love is for losers, Sis. I'm never going to let myself be caught up in that."

Akane just smiled wearily as her sister began ignoring her in hopes of rousing Ukyo from her well-deserved slumber.

"You idiot!" Ranma shouted as he brought his elbow down on Ryoga's head. "Why are you following us? You're supposed to be unconscious back at the Tendos'."

Ranma and Taro had been following Happosai on one of his many trips into town to pillage the "silky darlings" of Tokyo's female population. They were hoping to jump him and beat him into submission so that Taro could get his name changed. It so much simpler than any other idea they'd attempted.

Ryoga had stumbled on them while shouting Ranma's name and running through the streets.

"Ranma!" Ryoga shouted as he kicked at his rival, only to have the other boy jumped out of reach. "There is something I must tell you concerning your future with Akane!"

"I know. You're going to kill me and take her for yourself," Ranma retorted as he moved to kick Ryoga, only to have Taro grab him by the ankle and smash both warriors to the ground.

"We're here to get that old pervert! I should've known better than to request your aide, Crossdresser."

"So, you plan on attacking your elder?" the old man shouted. A bomb landed in front of the three young men. As they scrambled to get out of the way, two men watched from a nearby street corner.

There was an explosion that would've rocked Nerima had it not already been used to such occurrences.

"Old… pervert…" Taro groaned angrily as he stood up and shook the grit from his hair. "You will change my name!"

"Pantyhose! Pantyhose!" Happosai shouted mockingly as he leapt away. The Chinese warrior doused himself with water, and a monster began flying after him.

"Why did I even bother?" Ranma asked himself as he shook his head. Then he looked to his friend. "So, what'd you want, Ryoga?"

"Ranma…" the sensitive young man punched the sidewalk, which shattered. "There are people. They're after you… and Akane. You mustn't let them harm her! Protect her, even if it costs you her life!"

The pigtailed boy pried his friend off. "What are you talking about? There are always people after me."

"Yes. But, now they're serious. Don't you see me?"

"So Taro beat you up. Big deal. He's done it to everyone. Except me, of course," he boasted.

"This wasn't that freak!" Ryoga shouted.

"Indeed, 'twas not." A young man with a wooden sword resting on his shoulder stepped into view. "It was I, Ranma Saotome. For the last time you have angered me."

"Shut up, Kuno," Ranma replied with a foot to the face. Then a rubber duck hit him in the side of the head. "Wha?"

Mousse leapt between the swordsman and his rival for Shampoo's affections. "We give you one last opportunity, Ranma. Leave and never return. You could even reclaim Ukyo from that other Tendo woman."

"What are you talking about? Ucchan isn't with anyone."

"Have you not seen it?" Kuno taunted as he waved his sword in Ranma's direction. "Your man-woman has left you for the most vile of things at our school!"

"She's with your father?"

The three other men face-planted at Ranma's words.

"No!" Ryoga shouted as he punched Ranma in the head. "Can't you tell? She is in love with Nabiki Tendo!"

Ranma's eyes widened to the size of plates. There was no way that Ucchan, HIS childhood friend… "Ryoga. I need you to do me a favour as a friend. Can you do it for me?"

The bruised martial artist shook his head before readdressing Mousse and Kuno. "Ranma, talk to me after I kill these two."

"How about we trade favours?" he responded as he looked the two over and cracked his knuckles.

Mousse began to wonder why he ever agreed to work with the Kunos.

"Kasumi?" Akane was worried. Whenever she was worried, she went to her sister. If anybody knew what the right thing to do was, it was Kasumi. She was wise for someone who wasn't even twenty.

"Yes? What is it, Akane?" the cheerful girl asked from the kitchen where she was preparing dinner for the family with Nodoka. "You don't want to help us cook, do you? If you wish to help, the table does need set."

Even while she grabbed the plates and silverware, Akane assured her sister that she didn't want to try cooking. The two older women sighed out of relief.

"Go on, Kasumi," Nodoka insisted as she pushed the sisters into the living room with surprising strength. "I can handle things until you come back."

"Thank you, Auntie."

They walked out into the backyard and looked into the koi pond where so many tragedies had been born. Akane remembered that the night she'd found P-Chan Ranma had been fighting someone by that very pond. How long ago it seemed. When was it that Ryoga had decided that it was better to lie and steal a spot in her bed and heart as a pig than to just confess his feelings for her? If he'd acted sooner, then maybe she might be with him now instead of Ranma.

"Love is a beautiful thing, right, Sis?"

"Of course," Kasumi assured her sister with a sunny smile. "It has made Daddy so happy that you and Ranma have stopped fighting and are ready to be married."

"Um, has everyone already forgotten about the wedding the other day? You know, where you guys almost married Ukyo and Nabiki, thinking that they were me and Ranma?"

Memories of many punches, kicks, and destroyed wedding decorations came to mind. Ranma hadn't been too happy, and Akane wasn't, either. She believed that it was actually the first time she'd booted her father. It had actually felt good.

"Oh, yes, my banner kept falling down."

Sometimes Akane wondered if everyone in her family was clueless due to genetics or if there was something in the water.

"Kasumi, I think something is happening. Whether it's good or not I don't know."

"What is it?" a touch of worry entered Kasumi's usually calm voice.

"It's about Nabiki. Ever since we had our fight, she's been living with Ukyo, right? Well, don't they seem different when they're around each other? Normal?"

"What do you mean?"

She didn't know how to explain it. When Nabiki had awoken, the first thing she said was Ukyo's name. She hadn't said the whole thing, but that didn't matter. Rather than commenting about how she was going to sue Kodachi for all she was worth like she would have before, now all she cared was somebody else's well being. It just wasn't the Nabiki she was used to.

"I think our sister is in love," Akane stated plainly.

"Ooh! Who is the lucky young man?" Kasumi asked. "He must make a lot of money to have caught her attention."

Akane almost fell into the pond.

"I'm talking about Ukyo! I think Nabiki is in love with Ukyo!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

"What's this?" Soun shouted as he and the other adults (minus Happosai, who was being hunted down by Taro) arrived in the backyard with a trail of dust following them. "Are you saying that my daughter is in love with another woman? Preposterous. I raised her better."

"Daddy…" Akane started, but then all of the adults began to talk amongst themselves.

"…can't allow this."

"She really needs a woman's guidance…"

"Don't worry, Tendo. I'm sure it isn't true."

"Auntie, did you turn off the stove before coming out?"

Akane felt like booting them all across town. This wasn't something that needed fixed. It was her sister. So what if the person she fell in love with was Ukyo? She was close to a man. More of one than Ranma could be, at times.

"All of you shut up!" Nabiki shouted from the entrance to the Dojo. It appeared as though she hadn't heard a thing they'd said. "The repairmen are complaining that they can't hear themselves think, and Ukyo needs her rest. Oh, I think the kitchen's on fire, too."

Everyone saw the smoke rising into the air and ran for the house.

"It was just a small grease fire," Nabiki said as she sat by Ukyo later that evening. They were back at Ucchan's and sitting at one of the tables. The chef hadn't been up to cooking, so Nabiki just heated up some frozen okonomiyaki (a secret technique known by only the best, it seemed…) and served that to the small group that had showed up. "Nobody was hurt. At least, not until Akane decided that she was going to microwave some popcorn. Doesn't she know that you don't make popcorn by wrapping an ear of corn in foil and putting it in the microwave? Almost took Mr. Saotome's head off. It's a shame he hadn't come in to check on her a second sooner."

There was a knock on the door and Nabiki stood up to answer. It was a telegram for Ukyo. She snatched it out of the man's hand and closed the door before he could inquire about a tip.

"Who's it from?" Ukyo asked curiously. "I've never received a telegram before. What does it say?"

Nabiki looked up from the telegram without a trace of emotion, a habit that seriously annoyed her partner in times such as this. "It's about Konatsu. He won't be coming back."

"H-he… is he okay?" breathed the chef quietly. "He's not…"

"He says that he took the money you sent with him and opened up his own okonomiyaki restaurant in Kyoto and that he'll pay you back as soon as he can."

Ukyo's face almost broke the table.

"Are you kidding me!" she shrieked angrily as Nabiki sat down and slid the paper to her her. She picked it up and read it for herself. It was no joke. "I'm going to kill him!"

"Just forget it. It's only money."

Ukyo looked at Nabiki as though she'd just said something completely unexpected. Which she had. "What did you just say?"

"It's only money. Living with you has made me see that there are more important things than the almighty yen."

That caught Ukyo off guard big time. What was more important to Nabiki than money? Family? Friends? Love?

Neither woman said a thing after that. And they never noticed that Nabiki's hand was lying on top of Ukyo's.


	10. Pride and...

"Ranma, you jerk!" Akane shouted for the fifth time that day as she smacked him over the head with a bokken. (A/N: See, I know the word now!) While it was true that they had admitted their feelings to each other, it didn't change their personalities. He was still obnoxious and she was still angry.

"What was that for?" he shouted back as he rubbed the bump on his head. "You psychotic macho chick."

Ukyo watched as they engaged in idle arguments as they had always done before. She just smiled, finally over the initial heartbreak of being dumped once and for all by the only man she could have loved. Hinako just scribbled pictures of kittens on the blackboard until Ranma began yelling, when she promptly sucked his ki dry.

"Naughty children really need to learn their lessons," the teacher said as all of the boys in the class ogled her. Well, except for Ranma, having been the one to be ki-sucked. "Now who's next?"

Bored of the nonsense, Ukyo stood up and walked out of class. Nobody noticed, as Happosai had somehow entered the classroom and latched himself onto the teacher's behind. Furinkan High tended to be like that.

"And wha' you be doin'?" a middle-aged man in Hawaiian garb asked her. "You bes' be getting' back to class."

"Shut up," Ukyo shouted as she smacked him with her large spatula. He flew into a wall. For some reason, she wasn't in the mood for him today. All she wanted to do was get away. Maybe she could open Ucchan's. They could always use some more money. Running a business wasn't as easy as some people could make it look.

She walked calmly down the street, looking at the people going about their everyday lives. Things really were much calmer when the martial artists were occupied somewhere else.

A fire truck raced by, breaking the calm. Ukyo briefly wondered whose house was burning. It wasn't uncommon for things to catch fire while everyone was fighting. This must've just been a normal fire, though. After all, everyone was at school. Except for the Chinese and Ryoga.

"Did you hear? That okonomiyaki shop is on fire," an old woman yelled across the street to her neighbour.

That caught Ukyo's attention. She asked the old woman which one, but the crone couldn't remember so she went back to splashing water on her plants.

Wind blew her hair behind her as she ran. It couldn't have happened. Even after Nabiki moved in, she made sure that everything was off before she left for the day. She hoped that it wasn't Ucchan's. That restaurant was all she had left of her life.

After she turned the last corner, Ukyo screamed and fell to her knees. Her business, her home, her livelihood was lit worse than Happosai on a Saturday night.

"Hah ha. Now Ukyo girl know not challenge Shampoo," the Amazon warrior declared as she landed next to the okonomiyaki chef. "Shampoo better in every way. Strength, skill, and restaurant. Cat Café last much longer than pitiful Ukyo shop."

"You did this!" Ukyo shouted angrily with a tear-soaked voice as she swung her large spatula at the other warrior with all her might. Shampoo easily dodged and kicked the weapon out of Ukyo's hands.

"Shampoo no do. But Ukyo know better than attack Shampoo."

Then someone grabbed the owner of the flaming restaurant from behind while crying the name of her nemesis. Unfortunately, his hands were on the wrong place as he did this. Ukyo screamed before booting him across the skyline.

"Stupid Mousse," Shampoo muttered as she watched him fly off. "Shampoo much more beautiful than plain Ukyo."

Tired of the insults, Ukyo retrieved her spatula and jumped at the Chinese warrior. Shampoo dodged the downward swing with extreme ease.

"Shampoo, Ukyo, cease," Cologne ordered when she arrived at the scene. The teenagers stopped and looked at the elder martial artist.

"What do you want, Ghoul?" Ukyo asked curiously as she strapped her spatula onto her back. "Come to gloat?"

Cologne shook her head and beckoned her great-granddaughter's rival. She held up several photographs. Ukyo took them and looked the pictures over, each one making her eyes bigger than the last. They clearly showed an old man and a large ox-like beast with tentacles traveling from rooftop to rooftop, fighting savagely. Then the next to last one showed them above Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. The old man, clearly Happosai, was throwing one of his "Happo Fire Bursts" at the monster.

"That old man!" Ukyo shouted as she dropped the photos. "I'll kill him!"

After she ran off in search of Happosai, Shampoo picked up the photos. She glanced at the one Ukyo hadn't and her face paled. "Great-grandmother? Why you have picture of naked Ryoga?"

"Never you mind," the old woman blushed as she snatched the picture and hid it within the folds of her clothes.

"So, what're you doing tonight?" Akane asked Nabiki as the sisters prepared to leave for the day. "Another shift at Ucchan's? We never see you at home anymore."

"And you won't," Nabiki admitted. "I'm happy where I am. Nothing could drag me back to that place. I almost got married the last time I went there. Now I know why you and Ranma hated it so much."

Akane had to turn away. She just couldn't keep from blushing.

"Sis," Nabiki started awkwardly. "I'm sorry you had to find out like that."

The expression on Akane's face made her glad that she wasn't facing Nabiki.

"Find out about what?"

"Well, um, about… you know…" the greedy one continued as she uncharacteristically tripped over her words. "What I'm trying to say is: I'm sorry you had to find out about P-Chan that way."

Akane sweatdropped like nobody in Nerima ever had before. Before she could respond, they both noticed their father running towards them.

"Well, if it isn't my daughters!" Soun cried as he gathered them up in his arms. "Imagine meeting you here."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "We're at school. The question is: why are you here? Don't you have some mess of Ranma's or Happosai's to be cleaning up."

"Actually…" their father's lips curved into an evil smile. "I came here to talk to your principal."

The two looked at each, both wondering what the other had done that was so serious their father needed to get involved. Then again, now that Akane and Ranma were together, he had way too much free time.

"You see, Nabiki…"

"Aha!" Akane cried as she pointed at her sister. "I knew it was about you!"

Rolling her eyes, Nabiki asked her father just what was going on.

"Well," he said as he stroked his moustache nervously. "Now that Akane and Ranma have happily accepted their engagement, I felt it only right to work on my next child. I thought long and hard, and have chosen a young man of considerable fortune…"

"No!" Nabiki shouted, quickly putting the pieces together. "You didn't… You wouldn't…"

"I will not marry Nabiki Tendo! My love is only for Akane!"

"What about me?" Ranma could be heard asking in female form. After a declaration of love for his 'pigtailed girl,' the three soon heard Ranma scream something before the familiar sound of a booting rang throughout the halls. Akane wondered what she saw in the pigtailed martial artist.

"Old man." Nabiki looked at Soun in a way that nobody thought she could look at anyone. The only emotions the population at large knew Nabiki to hold were greed and dislike. Akane also knew of one far greater. But this, this was something new. This was something that brought the tears to her father's eyes in a way that Ranma and Akane never could. "I hate you."

With those crushing words, the middle Tendo daughter walked away.

Ukyo screamed for Happosai for hours on end, but could find no trace of the old man. She gave up and sat on a conveniently placed park bench. A little black pig soon made its way to her, dragging a heavy-looking backpack.

"Howdy, Ryoga," she said as she handed the pig a tea kettle. It disappeared into a nearby bush, and the melancholy martial artist soon stepped out and took his place beside her on the bench. The chef smiled at him. "You're looking better."

"Hitting Mousse tends to have that affect," he stated simply. Then he looked at Ukyo and smiled back before turning away nervously. "Um, now that Akane and Ranma are together, do you…"

"Do I what?" she asked after ten minutes of his fidgeting around the question.

Rather than answering with words, he leaned over and kissed her in a very un-Ryoga move. Ukyo smashed him upside the head with her spatula.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked. "You… you… YOU PERVERT!"

She booted him into the air despite his cry of "Why did I listen to Ranma?"

Infuriated, she stomped off, once more in search of the oldest and biggest pervert of them all.

Three martial artists soared high above the skies of Tokyo. Above one certain house, they also collided and began to fall.

It wasn't long before the angry business partners found each other. When Nabiki heard what had happened to their restaurant, she became even so angry that even Kasumi would've cowered.

"We're going to find that pervert and make him pay!" declared the middle Tendo. They clasped each others' hand for support as they marched in the direction of the Tendo Dojo.

"Welcome home," Kasumi called as her father, Ranma, and Akane walked through the front door. "Dinner will be ready shortly."

Nobody said anything. Akane was furious at her father for doing such a thing to Nabiki, Soun was depressed at being frozen out by two of his daughters, and Ranma had been bound and gagged by Akane so that she wouldn't have to listen to his stupidity on the walk home.

Akane dropped Ranma off in his room before continuing on to her own. She found Happosai going through her underwear and then proceeded to throw any sharp or heavy thing at him that she could find. Every one of them missed.

He leapt out the window with his tongue sticking out before something rather large fell from the sky and landed on him. When she looked out the window, Akane saw the dazed bodies of the ancient master, Kuno, Mousse, and Ryoga. Calling out the name of the last one, she ran down the stairs and out into the back yard to take him in her arms.

"Are you okay, Ryoga?" she cried as she picked Happosai up and threw him to the side to make room for her friend to lie down more comfortably.

"A-Akane?" he asked weakly while searching for her hand. She grabbed it and held it close to her chest. "Do you… hate me?"

"Of course not," she laughed softly.

He immediately sprang up and began dancing joyously. "She doesn't hate me! She doesn't hate me! She doesn't hate me!"

"We get the point," Ranma shouted as he stuck his foot in Ryoga's face to calm the boy down. "Now, did you do that favour for me?"

"I tried…" he admitted with a bit of shame. "It just didn't feel, right, though. Why is it any of our business what Ukyo does?"

Akane stuck herself between the boys and looked at both of them angrily. "What this about Ukyo? What are you two up to?"

Ranma chuckled as he stretched his hand behind his head. "Well, you see, Mousse and Kuno were telling this horrible lie about Ucchan and your sister, so I thought I'd have Ryoga see if it was true."

"Liar!" Ryoga shouted angrily. "You asked me to seduce her, and all I got was booted!"

"It's not my fault that you're not man enough to fix her," Ranma retorted before being hit in the head with and unconscious Happosai.

"So, you're the one that sent him after me," Ukyo accused as she began to beat Ranma with Happposai. The young man ran off, and Ukyo threw the letch at him.

Akane looked around and saw Nabiki glaring angrily at Kuno's unconscious form.

"How long have you been here?" Akane asked as she approached her sister. When she got close enough, the swordsman leapt up and tried to embrace her only to be booted into a tree. "I thought you weren't coming back."

"Plans changed," Nabiki said cryptically as she watched Ukyo chase Ranma. Happosai still lay on the ground without any signs of waking up. Having three teenage boys crush you into the ground could do that to even the most vigorous of martial artists.

There was no way that Akane could've missed the smile on her sister's face as she watched the okonomiyaki chef attempt to beat Ranma up. Ryoga had mysteriously vanished. Probably got lost trying to follow Akane.

"Are you happy?" was all the youngest Tendo daughter wanted to know.

Caught off guard by the question, all Nabiki could do was nod.

"That's good."

That night, after everyone found out the fate of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, Nabiki and Ukyo were invited to stay overnight. Back in her old room, Nabiki smiled at her friend.

"Who would've thought that we'd be back here, huh? And Ranma trying to get you to fall in love with Ryoga? Hilarious."

"Why did that Taro guy show up and take the old man?" Ukyo asked.

"Long story," was all Nabiki would give up.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them once again. Sitting on Nabiki's bed, they just stared at each other. Ukyo's cheeks turned red after a few minutes and she had to look away.

"What?"

"I was just wondering what we're going to do now that we've lost Ucchan's. You can stay here forever, but I can't. Your family doesn't seem to be too fond of me. The panda and his wife kept giving me sideward glances, and your father just refused to look at me at all," Ukyo confessed. "I'm just going to pack up tomorrow and go on a journey. Maybe I'll search Japan for the old pervert so that I can wreak some revenge."

"Something tells me your odds of finding him are better if you stay here," Nabiki grinned. She took Ukyo's hands in hers. "Besides, if you leave, I'm coming with you. Whether my dad likes it or not, you're an important part of my life now. There's no way I'll let myself be left behind."

Ukyo didn't know what to say. "Nabiki?"

"Yes?" the capitalist asked as she tightened her grip on Ukyo and shifted closer to her.

"There's something outside."

Nabiki turned her head and saw every member of her family peering from various angles. Taking a page from Akane's book, she threw her lamp out and struck many of them in the process.

"You do realize that if you come with me, it'll be rigorous and you won't be able to make any money."

"Haven't I told you that you mean more to me than money?" Nabiki assured her. "Besides, I told you, you're not going anywhere. I'd mailed in an insurance premium a few days ago. We can just rebuild Ucchan's and make another go at it."

Happy at the good news, Ukyo threw her arms around Nabiki and drew her into a hug. "Thank you. This means more to me than you could ever imagine. This is the most amazing thing ever!"

Surprised at how much she enjoyed it, Nabiki melted into the embrace and slid her own arms around Ukyo's torso, pulling the other girl even closer. Ukyo looked at her with a gasp before smiling.

"Well, okay, maybe it's not," the chef admitted. A goofy grin on her face, she asked a question Nabiki thought nobody ever would. "You love me, don't you?"

With reflexes better than most martial artists, Nabiki stood up, knocking Ukyo off the bed and onto the floor. She was Nabiki Tendo. She believed in money. Love was something that she had nothing to do with. Those traps were for more simple-minded people like her sister. Nabiki Tendo didn't fall for such things. She couldn't. it wasn't in her to fall in love. Besides, wasn't she the unlovable one?

"I…" Ukyo's voice cracked with pain and confusion as she looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing."

Smiling weakly, Nabiki sat next to Ukyo and put her arm around the younger girl's shoulders. "You were reading my mind."

Ukyo looked up in surprised as the tears forming in her eyes were wiped away with a tender gentleness. Her face was so close to Nabiki's. While she'd felt things for Ranma, those feelings had never been returned. Now that she was on the receiving end… The world seemed like it would be a lot less lonely from now on.


End file.
